Unbroken - Motivational Video

Perspective

It's all in your perspective.



"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing."
 - Camille Pissarro

"What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are." - C.S. Lewis

"The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend." - Robertson Davies

Thoughts Are Things by Henry Van Dyke

I hold it true that thoughts are things; 
They're endowed with bodies and breath and wings;
And that we send them forth to fill
The world with good results, or ill.

That which we call our secret thought
Speeds forth to earth's remotest spot,
Leaving its blessings or its woes
Like tracks behind it as it goes. 

We build our future thought by thought,
For good or ill, yet know it not. 
Yet, so the universe was wrought.
Thought is another name for fate;
Choose, then, thy destiny and wait,
For love brings love and hate brings hate.

- Henry Van Dyke

Insight

Often when it seemed I found 
Goodness here, there, all around,
I saw, on closer scrutiny,
The goodness come from inside me.

Why did the whole world seem to smile? 
Because I laughed with it awhile. 
Why was all earth so bright with sun?
Because my light heart gave it one.

What made the future seem so bright,
The past seem dear, the future right?
What was it set the day apart?
The peace of God within my heart.

Since then, when life looks dark and grim, 
My assets small, my prospects dim,
I push dark thoughts back on the shelf 
And seek for heaven in myself.

-unknown

The Four Agreements

Rooted in traditional Toltec wisdom beliefs, four agreements in life are essential steps on the path to personal freedom:  

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

- by Don Miguel Ruiz

How To De-Stress: Spend Time By Water

Change and Trials: Imagine Yourself As A Living House

On dealing with change and trials:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to?

The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but he is building a palace." 

- C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

The Art of Zen: Zen Things

Why Forgiveness Has The Power To Heal and Make You Whole Again

One of the heaviest emotional burdens we carry is a lack of forgiveness — for others and especially, for ourselves.

We can forgive even if we refuse to tolerate someone's behavior.

The Healing Power Of Forgiveness

When we hold onto a resentment, grievance, shame, guilt, or pain from the past, our entire body-mind suffers. Our body produces excessive amounts of hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, which over time can compromise our immune system, and potentially contribute to cardiovascular disease.

Hostility is an inflammatory emotion and, as researchers have found, the number one emotional risk factor for premature death from heart attacks and strokes. Hostility is also linked to autoimmune disorders. It’s not a coincidence that we speak of people “dying from a broken heart,” or describe a betrayal as “a stab in the back,” or say that a deep loss was “gut wrenching.”

As we’ve known for more than three decades, the body and mind are inextricably connected.

Fortunately, this body-mind is incredibly flexible, and when we let go of the emotional toxicity, our body immediately begins to return to homeostasis, which is a state of self-healing and self-regulation. On an emotional level, the benefits of forgiving and releasing the burden of judgment are valuable beyond compare. In forgiving, we free ourselves from attachments to the past, and we clear encumbrances that constrict our heart and accelerate the aging process.

When we lend our energy to forgiveness, we increase our capacity for compassion and love for everyone around us, including ourselves.

Ultimately forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves.

Forgiving, Not Condoning
It is common for people to resist forgiving someone out of the belief that forgiveness in some way condones that person’s actions. But forgiveness isn’t about condoning an action that caused pain for us or others. It doesn’t imply that we tolerate a thief who has stolen, our partner who has cheated, or the child who told a lie. We can forgive even if we refuse to tolerate someone’s behavior and no longer want that person to be part of our life.

Ultimately forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. We can benefit from forgiving even if the person we forgive isn’t aware of our feelings or is even no longer alive.

Consider the inspiring words of Nelson Mandela, who was imprisoned by the South African government for 27 years, yet emerged without bitterness for his captors. He stated, “As I walked out the door toward my freedom I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, I would still be in prison.”

Even knowing the value of forgiveness, many people doubt whether they will ever be able to forgive and fully let go. But rest assured, we all have the ability to forgive, for it is the nature of life to release toxicity and return back to wholeness.

At the same time, forgiveness often doesn’t happen in one fell swoop. Particularly in cases of deep violation, forgiveness is often a process that requires you to forgive one layer at a time. Sometimes you have to forgive someone many times before you finally let go of all the emotional residue of the past.

Yet as you take steps to restore peace in your heart, you will feel a shift. Every act of forgiveness and letting go is an act of healing your own self. As you practice it on a regular basis, you will feel lighter as you expand your capacity for flexibility, love and compassion.

by Deepak Chopra

It doesn't get better. You do.

I posted on the last day of last year something that’s turned trite and tinny, and I must apologize, because it’s nothing more than an empty promise. “It gets better,” I said, an emulation or a ripoff of a message intended for those who live with bullying, or rejection, or judgment, or fear. You can add to that list.

That’s not true, though. It doesn’t get better. It just is. It does what it wants. It has a mind of its own. It doesn’t regard you, how you’re feeling, what you wish for. It just is. You are inconsequential to it.

The blown red light, the wrong place at the wrong time, the injustice of a decision, the errant division of cells, the poison of words; whatever is decried just happened or worse, even terrifying to most, is that it will. And you can’t stop it.

Really, what you can do with it is relatively limited.

You can fear it. Most do. Much of our communication is driven by the fear perpetuated by it. Fear of judgment, failure, disappointing, consequences beyond our control, as if we had any. Control, that is.

You can resist it. Fate or fortune swings that quotidian pendulum to a place that hurts or a place that feels really good, but the spin of this old orb seems to centrifugally draw that swinging indicator back to where we’ve allowed it to rest, resisting both the differences of what fate and fortune can offer.

You can deny it. Fear is often managed through denial. Not my kid. Not in my backyard. Not in our schools. Not in this country. It kills, it divides, it’s unjust, it’s liberating, it evolves, it teaches.

You can embrace it. All of it. Remove the value; good, bad, right, wrong, heaven, hell, and it just may begin to fit within the circle of your arms. It’s a risk. It will hurt.

And you can heal. It doesn’t get better, you do.

You can get better, better at it. It just is.

You are so much more.

by Eric Young

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

by Max Ehrmann

Death Is Nothing At All by Henry Scott Holland

Death is nothing at all. 
It does not count. 
I have only slipped away into the next room. 
Nothing has happened. 

Everything remains exactly as it was. 
I am I, and you are you, 
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. 
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. 

Call me by the old familiar name. 
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. 
Put no difference into your tone. 
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. 

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. 
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. 
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. 

Life means all that it ever meant. 
It is the same as it ever was. 
There is absolute and unbroken continuity. 
What is this death but a negligible accident? 

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? 
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, 
somewhere very near, 
just round the corner. 

All is well. 
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. 
One brief moment and all will be as it was before. 
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!


- by Henry Scott Holland  

Things Mentally Strong People Do

1. They move on. They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves.

2. They keep control. They don't give away their power.

3. They embrace change. They welcome challenges.

4. They stay happy. They don't complain or waste time on things they can't control.

5. They are kind, fair, and unafraid to speak up. They don't worry about pleasing other people.

6. They are willing to take calculated risks. They weigh the risks and benefits before taking action.

7. They invest their energy in the present. They don't dwell on the past.

8. They accept full responsibility for their past behavior. They don't make the same mistake over and over.

9. They celebrate other people's success. They don't resent that success.

10. They are willing to fail. They don't give up after failing. They see every failure as a chance to improve.

11. They enjoy their time alone. They don't fear being alone.

12. They are prepared to work and succeed on their own merits. They don't feel the world owes them anything.


- from robynballiet.com

Great Advice For Life: A Father's Letter to His Child on Graduation

My Dear Child, 

I am so very proud of you. Now, as you prepare to embark on a new journey–your own journey–I’d like to share one piece of advice I wish I’d learned at your age:

Always remember that adversity is not a detour, it’s the path.

You will encounter obstacles. You will make mistakes. Be grateful for both. Your mistakes and failures will be your greatest teachers. And the only way to not make mistakes in this life is to do nothing, which is the biggest mistake of all.

Your challenges, if you’ll let them, will become your greatest allies. Mountains can crush or raise you, depending on which side of the mountain you choose to stand. All history bears out that the great–those who have changed the world–have all suffered great challenges. And, more times than not, it’s precisely those challenges that, in God’s time, lead to triumph.

Abhor victimhood. Denounce entitlement. Neither are gifts, rather cages to damn the soul. Everyone who has walked this earth is a victim of injustice. Everyone.

Most of all, do not be too quick to denounce your sufferings. The difficult road you are called to walk may, in fact, be your only path to success.

Remember, in the end, it is not the destination, but the manner in which you walked that reveals who you are. Walk well. Walk with love. And as you walk remember, always, that I love you.

With all my affection,

Dad

- by Richard Paul Evans

Patience: Allowing The Master Potter To Do His Work

Pottery is among mankind’s oldest and most enduring crafts. The process itself feels like a work of art, as the expert potter carefully, patiently shapes a lump of clay into a beautiful, useful vessel. While finishing the work takes time and patient effort, the result is clearly worth it. It’s no wonder that pottery making is often used as a metaphor for how our lives are gently molded by the patient hand of God. But patience is not always a popular virtue today, when almost everything is instantaneous. We eat fast food, photos appear instantly on our smartphones, and we can quickly access almost any information we need. Waiting even a few seconds seems like too long, as we hurry from one app, one website, or one transaction to another. Our time is hardly measured in minutes anymore, but in bits per second—not just fast, but superfast. This increase in speed has brought many advantages. But it can also lead us to be less than patient with each other and with ourselves. Patience does not mean suffering while we wait to get what we want—that’s more like impatience! When we are truly patient, we kindly and lovingly allow others the time they need to reach their full potential. We do not resent the fact that progression is a process, and we resist putting undue pressure and unrealistic expectations on others—or on ourselves—knowing that it will only hinder growth and create frustration. Patience means not despairing when mistakes happen. It means making room for change as we all learn a better way. It means we will sometimes be offended, but we won’t harbor resentment or anger as we work out a solution. Patience inspires us to give people another chance and the benefit of the doubt, just as we hope they will do for us. Patience is the power that comes from hope and confidence that things will, in time, improve.  Even in our fast-paced life, let us allow the Master Potter to do His work. If we are patient, we will see a beautiful result. - by Don H. Staheli, as broadcast on "Music and the Spoken Word"

10 Life Lessons Known by the Wise

Here are 10 life lessons wise people have figured out but most likely won't talk about:

1. There are no mistakes, only growth.

2. You will keep repeating the same patterns until you get the lesson.

3. Whatever you believe about yourself on the inside is manifested on the outside.

4. The more you approve of yourself, the less you need others' approval.

5. All situations are pathways instead of problems.

6. Things don't happen to you — they happen for you.

7. There is no "there" to get to — it never ends.

8. Where you are today is preparing you for tomorrow. Everything is connected.

9. You will always get what you need. It might not be what you want, but it is always exactly what you need.

10. What you make of your life is up to you.

by Shannon Kaiser

Benjamin Franklin and The Thirteen Virtues

Benjamin Franklin–one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America–was an author, political theorist, scientist, musician, inventor, and the list goes on and on.

How was Franklin able to accomplish so much? The key to Franklin´s amazing success was his continuous pursuit of self-improvement.

In 1726, at the age of 20, Franklin set the following lofty goal for himself:

“It was about this time I conceived the bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection. I wished to live without committing any fault at any time; I would conquer all that either natural inclination, custom, or company might lead me into.”

That is, he resolved to always do right, and to avoid any wrongdoing. In order to accomplish his goal, Franklin came  up with a list of 13 virtues which he would strive to live up to. In this post you’ll discover Franklin’s 13 virtues, the method that he used in order to adhere to these virtues, and a plan so that you can follow in Franklin’s footsteps.

The Thirteen Virtues

Franklin developed his list of 13 virtues based on the moral virtues he had come across in his readings. In addition, he wrote down a few words about each of the virtues in order to clarify the meaning he gave to each one.

Here’s a list of the 13 virtues which Franklin committed himself to:

1. “TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.”

The first virtue selected by Franklin was not to overindulge in food or drink. Franklin writes that he selected temperance first because “it tends to procure that coolness and clearness of head which is so necessary where constant vigilance was to be kept up”.

2. “SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.”

By adopting this virtue Franklin wished, first, to gain knowledge, which he noted one acquires by using the ears instead of the tongue. Second, he wanted to “break a habit I was getting into (of) prattling, punning, and joking, which only made me acceptable to trifling company”.

3. “ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.”

By achieving order Franklin expected to be able to have more time for the pursuit of his studies and other projects. In addition, Franklin explains that the “precept of Order requires that every part of my business should have its allotted time“.

4. “RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.”

Here’s what Franklin has to say about the virtue of resolution: “Resolution, once habitual, would keep me firm in my endeavors to obtain all the subsequent virtues”. The virtue of resolution can be summed up as follows: if you say you’re going to do something, do it.

5. “FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.”

6. “INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.”

Franklin explains his inclusion of frugality and industry in his list of virtues as follows:

“Frugality and Industry, freeing me from my remaining debt, and producing affluence and independence, would make more easy the practice of Sincerity and Justice, etc.”

In his autobiography Franklin explains that he owes the acquisition of his fortune to frugality and industry.

7. “SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.”

8. “JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.”

9. “MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”

10. “CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.”

11. “TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.”

12. “CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.”

13. “HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.”

Of the virtue of humility, Franklin writes the following:

“My list of virtues contained at first but twelve; but a Quaker friend having kindly informed me that I was generally thought proud, that my pride showed itself frequently in conversation, that I was not content with being in the right when discussing any point, but was overbearing and rather insolent, of which he convinced me by mentioning several instances, I determined endeavoring to cure myself, if I could, of this vice or folly among the rest, and I added Humility to my list, giving an extensive meaning to the word.”

 The Methodology

Franklin wisely decided not to try to tackle all of the 13 virtues at once. Instead, he would concentrate on one at a time. Here’s the methodology that Franklin developed in order to attain mastery over the 13 virtues which he had selected:

• “I made a little book, in which I allotted a page for each of the virtues.”
• “I ruled each page with red ink, so as to have seven columns, one for each day of the week, marking each column with a letter for the day.”
• “I crossed these columns with thirteen red lines, marking the beginning of each line with the first letter of one of the virtues, on which line, and in its proper column, I might mark, by a little black spot, every fault I found upon examination to have been committed respecting that virtue upon that day.”

In his autobiography Franklin includes the chart which he used:

Franklin then proceeded to do the following:

• “I determined to give a week’s strict attention to each of the virtues successively.”
• “Thus, in the first week, my great guard was to avoid every the least offense against Temperance, leaving the other virtues to their ordinary chance, only marking every evening the faults of the day.”
• “Thus, if in the first week I could keep my first line, marked T, clear of spots, I supposed the habit of that virtue so much strengthened, and its opposite weakened, that I might venture extending my attention to include the next, and for the following week keep both lines clear of spots.”
• “Proceeding thus to the last, I could go thro’ a course complete in thirteen weeks, and four courses in a year.”

Follow Franklin’s Example

Franklin was one of the first people to recognize that recording your behavior helps you to change it.In fact,he turned self-development into a science by observing, monitoring, and measuring his behavior.

If you would like to follow in Franklin’s footsteps, you can go ahead and download his chart of virtues here. Glue the chart to your day planner or to a notebook, and always carry it around with you, just like Franklin did. Instead of using a notebook, you can use your iPhone by downloading the Virtues App.

Conclusion

At the age of 79 Franklin wrote in his autobiography that he never did achieve his goal of attaining perfection. However, he did achieve the following:

“Tho’ I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet I was, by the endeavour, a better and a happier man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it.”

- from Marelisa Fabrega, daringtolivefully.com

See also: Benjamin Franklin Quotes

Try Something New

A woman who loved soufflé decided to make some for her family for a special occasion. But she became nervous when she read the recipe for the light, fluffy cake. Soufflé is not easy to make, and it has to be served quickly to keep it from falling. So as the years, holidays, and birthdays went by, she continued to save the recipe, not quite ready to attempt it.  Her family grew up, and she grew old. Finally she gave the recipe to one of her children with this wise counsel: “Take the risk. Make the soufflé. If it falls, it falls. But you’ll never have it if you don’t try.” Many of us have trips we wish to take, talents we want to develop, even friends we’d like to make, but our plans get caught in the inertia of daily living. And then, in what seems like the blink of an eye, the window of opportunity closes.  Perhaps we hesitate because we fear failure. Yet the greatest risk is refusing to risk; the greatest failure is refusing to try—it means we will never taste that soufflé, see that dazzling vista, or enjoy that grand accomplishment.  So how do we break free of our self-imposed limitations? We can start by trying something new. We can say hello to the withdrawn co-worker we’ve never spoken to. We can try a new food, or read a book by a new author. We can sing a song that has always seemed outside our range. We can sign up for a class we always wanted to take. We can use the vast offerings of the Internet to research a famous artist, find out about a recent scientific discovery, or start to learn a new language.  Don’t wait until “someday.” Today is what we have. As a wise mother once said: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Joni Hilton Like the soufflé, if we fall, we fall. But we’ll never know if we don’t try. - from the broadcast "Music and the Spoken Word", March 29, 2015

Hang On 'Til Daylight

Some years ago, a good friend of mine, a great person and fine doctor, finding himself sort of fed up for the day, decided to cut out for the rest of the afternoon. Without saying a word to anyone as to where he was going, he left the office and drove north into Georgia, ultimately to the edge of Lake Seminole, where he owned some land. He spent the afternoon communing with nature, as we say, clearing his head of the thoughts of a busy physician and enjoying the solitude of the lake.

A light rain had set in, and the road down to the lake was hard pan, south Georgia clay. After dark, as he tried to drive back up to the main road, his car would not budge. Remembering that an old man, a friend of his, had a tractor in a shed a mile or so back off the road, my friend walked in the mud to the shed, where he found the tractor and the key. Not wanting to walk the other mile to his friend's home and knowing there would be no problem with permission, he cranked the tractor and rode down to the lake. He hooked up the tractor to his car, climbed up into the driver's seat, put it in gear, let out the clutch, and in a microsecond found himself on the ground with the tractor on top of him, 8,000 pounds of steel punching him into the cold, hard clay.

Two classical blunders had left him hopelessly pinned, with the circulation cut off in his shoulder and arm and the feel of broken bones against the dirt. The first blunder was in not telling a single soul where he was. The second was taking on, without help, a difficult, dangerous task for which he had neither the experience nor the training.

Pinned, alone, near shock and in terrible pain, there was almost nothing he could do. After running through the things we all would -- crying a little, cursing a little, yelling a little, praying a little, perhaps even offering God a little deal, he settled down to the reality that he was helpless, alone, and in very grave danger, all because of those seemingly insignificant errors: not telling a soul where he was going and taking on more than he could safely manage alone.

Now my friend had one enormous advantage, provided after a while to all of us: age and experience. He had been down before, and he believed, "crazy" as it seemed, that there had to be something he could do.

Finally, it came to him that there were three things he could do, and he put all of his energy into doing them. He found that he could wiggle his fingers just a bit; that with a small stick he found on the ground, he could ... hang on 'til daylight; ... that and nothing else. So throughout the night, cold, wet, in pain and totally alone, he kept at it: wiggling around a little, picking at the problem a little, and ... hanging on until daylight.

Now in fact, my doctor friend does not live alone in the world. He has a family, friends and colleagues. And there are a whole bunch of helpers -- police, sheriffs, forest rangers, medics -- literally a room full. You are never truly alone. Unknown to him, shortly after dark, first on the subdued scale and then with a rising crescendo, the real people in his life began to fan out and search...

Still believing he was alone and that it might be hopeless, my friend, because he had been down before, maintained the pace: he wiggled around a bit, picked away at the problem clay under his elbow, and ... hung on until daylight.

Finally, just at dawn, it all happened at once -- tractors, wreckers, ambulances, medics, pry poles, cables and wrenches. And then, it was all over -- a warm bed, bone surgeons, cardiovascular surgeons; and not just a bad dream, a joke to tell on yourself when you feel particularly cocky. But life, future, friends, family, dreams, plans and responsibilities were all his because of those three trivial things -- wiggling around to keep the juices flowing, picking at the problem, and most of all, through pain, shock, cold, darkness and aloneness ... hanging on until daylight.

Now if, God forbid, somehow you find yourself having made the two classic blunders of isolation and taking on the heavies, and it turns over on you, just remember to do two things: remember something can move a little, so wiggle around; remember all problems can be pecked at a little, so peck at the problem; but most of all, remember to ... hang on until daylight.

-from Lee J. Colan, quoting an address delivered by Wallace A. Kennedy, Professor of Psychology, Florida State University, 1981

The Positive Messages (Real Hidden Agendas) in the New Disney's "Cinderella"

In today's world there seems to be way too much criticism about fairy tales sending wrong messages about life.  I believe in most cases you find what you are looking for, good or bad.  So here's a great interpretation of how there are lots of right messages that can be found in the new Disney movie "Cinderella":

You can be a light even when surrounded by evil

There is evil and darkness everywhere (and sometimes, it seems like all I ever see is doom and gloom!) However, that doesn’t mean that you have to resort to that. No matter who you are, or where you are, you can be good. You can show kindness, love, and gratitude, regardless of what the circumstances are. No matter how dark things are, even the dimmest light can make a difference.

Everyone deserves respect, kindness, and generosity

Cinderella was kind to all – right down to the tiny mice in her home. When there appeared to be a homeless woman outside her home, she didn’t bat an eye finding her some milk. Obviously, that haggard old woman turned out to be her fairy godmother, and that’s not going to happen with every person you are kind to. However, in my short 25 years on this earth, I have discovered that being kind to people always pays off – even when you don’t want to be.

Believe

Cinderella’s mother said that she “believed in everything” when Cinderella asked if she believed in fairy godmothers. While you probably shouldn’t really believe in everything, it’s important to believe in something. Believing gives you something to hold on to when the going gets tough. Cinderella believed in being kind, as it was taught to her by her parents, and that got her through hard times. Be willing to stand up for those things that you believe in. I certainly believe that you are a stronger person when you are steadfast in the things you stand for and believe.

It’s okay to want a happily ever after

And you know what else? It’s okay to believe in happy endings and enjoy fairy tales. Life isn’t perfect, and you shouldn’t expect it to be. However, you can expect for there to be happy endings and beauty in all things, even when trials arise. I don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with hoping one day you’ll find your prince charming. My life was just fine before I met Forrest, but you know what? He was my prince charming, and my life was so much better with him in it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with feeling that way. [From Forrest – Katie has been more of a blessing in my life than I have been to hers. In Cinderella, Prince Charming is saved from being coerced into a loveless marriage by Cinderella. Her natural goodness motivated him to raise his marriage standard and seek for her. It is clear in the movie that they are a blessing to each other. It is clear in the movie that Kit doesn’t see himself as better than Cinderella.]

To my son, I hope that you’ll be chivalrous, and that you’ll be someone’s knight in shining armor someday. It’s good to respect women and want to treat them with respect and kindness.

It’s good to be realistic, but it’s also good to believe in a little magic.

See the Good

The beginning of the movie starts by showing a scene of Cinderella’s mother and father in a field, with baby Ella. It says something how she always saw the world not as it is, but as it should be. I loved this! While I don’t think you should be totally naive to the world around you, sometimes, it’s just better to look for the good. For a long time, I followed tons of news stations on Facebook. The news media thrives on sadness and controversy. It really was negatively affecting me! So, I unfollowed most of them. I started feeling more uplifted as I focused less on the negativity in the world. I felt like I was able to see more of the good side of situations and people, instead of feeling like everyone had a hidden agenda. Sometimes, it’s good to see the world through rose colored glasses.

A  Parent’s Influence Runs Deep

Cinderella was born into a wonderful family. Her parents obviously loved her very much, as well as each other. Sadly, tragedy struck when her mother passed away when she was young, and then, years later, her father passed away as well. However, the goodness that her parents instilled in her lasted her throughout her entire life, even when she was being treated so horribly by her stepmother.

The influence that the step-mother had on her children was obvious as well. They were unkind, ungrateful, and materialistic, which appeared to be traits their mother had as well.

This isn’t to say that if you had a bad upbringing, you are doomed as well. Anyone has the power to change. However, I do believe that parents can have the greatest influence on their child, for good or bad. Often I see people talking about how fairy tales and princesses are horrible role models for children. But I think back on my life growing up – where I watched many, many fairy tales…and you know what ended up affecting me more? What my parents taught me. External influences can often have a strong effect, but I do believe the influence of a parent can be more powerful than anything else.

You Can Choose Misery or Happiness in Any Situation

There were two “tragic” tales told. Cinderella lost her mother at a young age, and then her father – left to the care of a step mother who mistreated her and step-sisters who only cared about themselves and material objects.

Then, there was the step-mother. She had lost her first husband – the love of her life. I can only imagine how hard that would be.

However, they both handled tragedy differently. There’s no way you aren’t affected by the death of a loved one. However, the way you handle it can affect your life forever. Cinderella chose to follow her parent’s example of kindness and optimism. Her step-mother chose another path – misery, deceit, and anger. Although both experienced tragedy and hardships, the way they chose to handle it made all the difference. Facing adversity with optimism, while hard, is worth doing.

Marry for the Right Reasons

In this movie, the idea that you should marry for advantage was perpetuated. The prince was told time and time again that he needed to marry a princess that would be advantageous toward the kingdom. At the end, the step-mother said she married Cinderella’s father for her daughters. She also wanted to make sure her daughters were married to well-established and recognized men in the city. Although I certainly believe that your spouse will hopefully make you a better person, you shouldn’t marry them simply because they have money, power, or because they are good looking.

Marry someone because you love them. Marry them because you can’t stand the thought of going a day without them. Marry them because they will help you become better than you could have been on your own. It’s more of an advantage to marry someone you love, than to marry someone who has an advantage attached to them.

Forgiveness

As Cinderella walks out the door with Prince Kit, she turns around to her step-mother and says, “I forgive you.” I don’t think she was just saying it because she knew she never had to go back. I truly believe that she showed Christ-like love and forgiveness toward someone who had wronged us. There’s so much revenge in this world. If someone wrongs another, it seems like the first thing that comes to mind is to make them pay for it or sue them. What happened to forgiveness without making the other person pay? One of the most beautiful themes of this film is that of forgiveness, and it’s one I hope everyone will remember. No matter how much someone has wronged you, you should forgive. It doesn’t mean you have to be best friends, or even associate with them…but in my experience, not forgiving someone hurts you more than it hurts anyone else.

Be Kind and Have Courage

You didn’t think I’d get through this post without sharing this, right? Be kind and have courage – this is what Cinderella’s mother told her as she was dying. It was something that stuck with Cinderella throughout her life – and I believe it’s one of the reasons why the prince fell in love with her. He saw her good heart. I absolutely loved this motto – and it’s something I hope to instill in Jack. Being kind is always the best choice, and it’s so important to have courage to not only stand up for yourself, but for your beliefs and for others (especially for those who don’t have a voice.) I believe that if more people took this motto to heart, then the world would be a better place.

- from the blog at clarkscondensed.com

Your Plan vs. God's Plan

If Plan "A" didn't work, there are still 25 more letters left in the alphabet! Stay cool.

See also:
Life Is All About How You Handle Plan B

6 Rules of Success by Arnold Schwarzenegger

How to Fail Successfully

The Message on "Music and the Spoken Word", Sunday, March 8, 2015 "Fail Forward" At the start of a new semester, the president of a large university advised his students: “We will all fail. More than once. Every day.” Not exactly the inspiring pep talk they may have expected. But then he added: “My plea for you today is to learn how to fail successfully.”1 He recounted a failure from his own background as a young lawyer, when a partner at his firm pointed out errors in a document he had carefully prepared. The criticism hurt, but he reworked the document and solved the problem. The law partner then shared this wise counsel: “Good judgment comes from experience. And experience comes from bad judgment.”2  Of course, no one seeks out failure, but no one can completely avoid it either. So we may as well learn from it. In fact, it could be said that if we’re not failing from time to time, we’re not learning all that we can. A child who doesn’t fall—a lot—never learns how to walk. A dancer, athlete, writer, or singer who never stumbles or makes mistakes never improves and never achieves greatness. The key is the way we react to our setbacks and failures. Instead of becoming frustrated, ashamed, or discouraged, we can choose to go forward with new experience, broader perspective, better judgment, and renewed determination. We may continue to fail, but we can ensure that when we do, we fail forward. The road of life is not a smooth highway paved with happiness and success. Potholes and detours along the way are meant to teach us and enrich our experience, if we are willing to learn from them. This is what it means to fail successfully—to not let life’s failures set us back but propel us forward. - Lloyd D. Newell 1. Kevin J. Worthen, in Valerie Johnson, “Learn to Fail Successfully, BYU President Tells Students,” LDS.org Church News, Jan. 13, 2015, http://www.lds.org/church/news/learn-to-fail-successfully-byu-president-tells-students. 2. In Valerie Johnson, “Learn to Fail Successfully.”

The Prayer of St. Francis

Imagine if we all had this prayer in our hearts and carried it through in our actions:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon; 
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer has said, "This is not a prayer; it is a technology. It is about being an alchemist and converting hatred to love, doubt to faith, despair to hope, and sadness to joy."

Why do things go wrong when we're trying to do what's right?

Lately I've been pondering why it is that when we set out to do something good 

we face such difficult adversity. Sometimes it even feels like we’re being 

punished for doing the right thing.

Last week I attended a board meeting for the Christmas Box International, 

a charitable organization I founded about fifteen years ago to help abused 

and neglected children. As our director read the list of the year’s accomplishments, 

my mind went back to one of our first board meetings–a painful, agonizing one. 

Back then, it seemed, nothing was going right. Community donations were a 

fraction of what we’d hoped for while our first shelter, which was still under 

construction, was a money pit–six months behind schedule and more than a 

half million dollars over budget. I had used up nearly all my personal savings 

building the shelter and now I couldn’t even qualify for a loan to finish it. 

And we still hadn’t helped a single child. We had no shelter, no money, no 

community support and abused children with no place to go. Surely there couldn’t 

be a more worthy cause than helping abused children, I reasoned. Then why did 

it seem that the universe was against us?

As we were beginning the board meeting my father, who sat on the charity’s

board, asked to speak. “Before we go any further,” he said. “I’d like to make a 

motion. I’m sorry to say this isn’t working. This shelter has nearly bankrupted 

my son. I make a motion that we close down the project.” His words were met 

with stunned silence. Then another board member spoke out. “I’d like to second 

the motion,” he said. “The community hasn’t rallied around this cause like we 

hoped. In all honesty, this is a sinking ship.” As I looked around the table 

everyone seemed to concur. Finally I asked, “Is that how you all feel?” Almost 

all of the board members nodded in agreement. I sat quietly for a moment 

pondering the motion. Honestly, it would have been an incredible relief to stop. 

At times the stress and discouragement of the project seemed overwhelming.

“Just a moment,” I said, excusing myself from the meeting. Walking out of the 

conference room I ducked into the only room not occupied–a mechanical closet. 

There I knelt down to pray. I asked God one question. May I quit? The impression 

that came back was unmistakable. “No. If you fail, no one else will succeed.”

My heart sank. I got up off my knees and walked back into the meeting. Looking 

around the table I said, “Thank you for your concern, but I’m not going to stop. 

If the ship is sinking, I’ll be going down with it. You’re free to join me or not.” 

The room was quiet. Then our director said, “All right. Let’s get on with business.”

The next week I printed up T-shirts for the board and staff with the words: 

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION.

For the next few months we continued to painfully limp along. Then one day I 

received a phone call from a friend of mine. A wealthy man she had told about 

the shelter wanted to know more. (He has asked to remain anonymous) Several 

days later I gave him a tour of the unfinished facility. Afterwards he asked me 

how things were going.

“Not like we hoped,” I said. “It’s just about bankrupted me.”

He looked at me quizzically. “You put your own money into this?”

“Almost all of it,” I replied.

He looked surprised. “I’ve never seen a celebrity use their own money,” he said. 

The next day I received a phone call from the man’s assistant. “My boss wanted 

me to call and let you know he is wiring a million dollars to help you finish 

your shelter.”

The shelter was completed. Since then more than 70,000 children have been helped. 

That’s a football stadium!

A few years ago I was signing books when I noticed a pretty young woman 

standing near the back of my line, staring at me. When she finally reached 

my table she said, “Mr. Evans, my whole life I’ve wanted to meet you.”

“You like my books?” I asked.

“Never read them,” she replied.

“Then why did you want to meet me?”

“I’m one of your shelter kids,” she replied. The young lady went on to explain 

that her biological parents were drug addicts and when the state took her and her 

brother away, no one wanted both of them. “We lived in your shelter until mom 

and dad adopted us. Our caseworker said that if it wasn’t for you I would have 

been raised without my brother.” She put her arm around the teenage boy next 

to her. “I’ve always wanted to thank you for my brother.”

That was a beautiful moment–and a sharp contrast to the first four years of panic 

attacks and misery. I remember during those years feeling frustrated and angry 

that everything seemed to go wrong. Many times I felt abandoned by God.

Since then I’ve come to believe that there are two reasons our good deeds are met 

with opposition. First, is to allow us the opportunity to prove to ourselves the 

level of our commitment. It’s been said that adversity introduces a man to himself. 

This is true. If all worthy endeavors were easy, there would be no greatness or 

nobility in the world. Just expediency.

The second reason is more pragmatic. More times than not we do not succeed 

in spite of our challenges and obstacles, but precisely because of them. It is the 

struggle itself that gives a thing life. As Thoreau wrote, “All misfortune is but a 

stepping stone to fortune.” In my case, going through the challenges of building

 the shelter forced me to take an active role in the organizations’ development 

and management. Without it, our cause to help children would probably not have 

survived on to today.

We all have our great causes, in our homes and in the world. It’s important to 

remember that oftentimes the rugged road we are forced to walk is the only path 

to our destination.

- by Richard Paul Evans


Read more at:
www.richardpaulevans.com/things-go-wrong-trying-whats-right/