One of the heaviest emotional burdens
we carry is a lack of forgiveness — for others and especially, for
ourselves.
We
can forgive even if we refuse to tolerate someone's behavior.
The
Healing Power Of Forgiveness
When
we hold onto a resentment, grievance, shame, guilt, or pain from the
past, our entire body-mind suffers. Our body produces excessive
amounts of hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, which over time
can compromise our immune system, and potentially contribute to
cardiovascular disease.
Hostility
is an inflammatory emotion and, as researchers have found, the number
one emotional risk factor for premature death from heart attacks and
strokes. Hostility is also linked to autoimmune disorders. It’s not
a coincidence that we speak of people “dying from a broken heart,”
or describe a betrayal as “a stab in the back,” or say that a
deep loss was “gut wrenching.”
As
we’ve known for more than three decades, the body and mind are
inextricably connected.
Fortunately, this body-mind is
incredibly flexible, and when we let go of the emotional toxicity,
our body immediately begins to return to homeostasis, which is a
state of self-healing and self-regulation. On an emotional level, the
benefits of forgiving and releasing the burden of judgment are
valuable beyond compare. In forgiving, we free ourselves from
attachments to the past, and we clear encumbrances that constrict our
heart and accelerate the aging process.
When we lend our energy to
forgiveness, we increase our capacity for compassion and love for
everyone around us, including ourselves.
Ultimately
forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves.
Forgiving, Not Condoning
It is common for people to resist forgiving someone out of the belief that forgiveness in some way condones that person’s actions. But forgiveness isn’t about condoning an action that caused pain for us or others. It doesn’t imply that we tolerate a thief who has stolen, our partner who has cheated, or the child who told a lie. We can forgive even if we refuse to tolerate someone’s behavior and no longer want that person to be part of our life.
Ultimately forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. We can benefit from forgiving even if the person we forgive isn’t aware of our feelings or is even no longer alive.
It is common for people to resist forgiving someone out of the belief that forgiveness in some way condones that person’s actions. But forgiveness isn’t about condoning an action that caused pain for us or others. It doesn’t imply that we tolerate a thief who has stolen, our partner who has cheated, or the child who told a lie. We can forgive even if we refuse to tolerate someone’s behavior and no longer want that person to be part of our life.
Ultimately forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. We can benefit from forgiving even if the person we forgive isn’t aware of our feelings or is even no longer alive.
Consider the inspiring words of Nelson
Mandela, who was imprisoned by the South African government for 27
years, yet emerged without bitterness for his captors. He stated, “As
I walked out the door toward my freedom I knew that if I did not
leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, I would still be
in prison.”
Even knowing the value of forgiveness,
many people doubt whether they will ever be able to forgive and fully
let go. But rest assured, we all have the ability to forgive, for it
is the nature of life to release toxicity and return back to
wholeness.
At the same time, forgiveness often
doesn’t happen in one fell swoop. Particularly in cases of deep
violation, forgiveness is often a process that requires you to
forgive one layer at a time. Sometimes you have to forgive someone
many times before you finally let go of all the emotional residue of
the past.
Yet as you take steps to restore peace
in your heart, you will feel a shift. Every act of forgiveness and
letting go is an act of healing your own self. As you practice it on
a regular basis, you will feel lighter as you expand your capacity
for flexibility, love and compassion.
by Deepak Chopra
No comments:
Post a Comment