Learning How to Sail My Ship

"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

At the time of writing this blog, I am 53 years old. Most would agree that I have exceeded the halfway point of my lifespan. It would seem logical to expect that by now I would be fairly skilled with the aspects of life, with the sailing of my ship. And yet, I seem to always be in a mode of learning. Just when I think I've got it all down, I find something else to be learned. Another setting of my sails, a new kind of water to sail through.
Photo by Ken R. Young

I have come to believe in these wise words:
"The winds and the waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators." - Edward Gibbon
However, becoming one of the "ablest navigators" seems to be a constant journey.

At various times of my life I have felt that I knew what it was all about and how to handle life. By the age of 19, I figured I was a pretty good sailor and was ready for the open seas. In some respects, I was ready...at least to set out and leave the harbor. I felt confident to sail through "wind and tide and stormy seas". At that time I could relate well with the great anthem "Sailing On" from the LDS musical "Saturday's Warrior". The words have great meaning for one setting out in life:

Sailing On
What is that sound risin' up from the world?
The sound of a clock ticking on
With hours and minutes I've yet to meet in a life
That soon will be gone, soon will be gone, soon will be gone.

What is that sound risin' up from the world?
The swell of the tide at the gate.
Where children set sail without knowing too well
That the time is growing late, growing late, growing late.

I'm sailin' on I'm not a stranger.
My faith will ride through wind and tide and stormy sea.
I'm sailin' on out of the harbor
There is a distant lamp that lights the way for me.
I hope they hold it high so I can see.
I'm sailin' on.

What is that sound risin' up from the world?
The clang of a bell on the ledge.
While young ones play on there merry way
As they float right over the edge, over the edge, over the edge.

I'm sailin' on I'm not a stranger.
My faith will ride through wind and tide and stormy sea.
I'm sailin' on out of the harbor
There is a distant lamp that lights the way for me.
I hope they hold it high so I can see.
I'm sailin' on.
by Doug Stewart and Lex de Azevedo

Hope, faith, confidence are necessary skills to successful sailing through life. I felt well equipped with these. Leaving the harbor was for me exciting and challenging. I started my journey by serving a two-year LDS mission in Sweden. I loved the challenge of learning a new language and culture, increasing my knowledge of the Lord's restored gospel, developing a strong testimony of Him, and honing my skills as a servant and teacher. My sail was full of a strong and steady wind. In the sense of relating my mission to life, I felt very much the same as John Groberg when he described sailing in his book, "The Other Side of Heaven" (TOSOH):

"There is hardly a more exhilarating feeling than to have a nice tail wind with the main sail extended (sometimes close to 90 degrees) and feel the power of God as His wind fills the sail and propels you across His ocean. At times I could almost see Him smile through the clear blue sky. It was great to feel His power and protection as the tiny boat raced to its destination over the deep blue sea."

And:

"As I watched the prow slice through the water, felt the wind power us forward, and sensed the undulating motion of the mast, I felt very close to God. I doubt anyone could deny Him and His power under those circumstances." - Groberg,TOSOH

The mission wasn't always smooth sailing - there were a few storms to pass through - but all in all, I felt safe and secure, and reached my destination at the end successfully. I came home a sailor with a greatly increased sense of skill and preparedness for sailing the oceans of life.

After my mission I set out on various small trips through achieving some higher education, learned new skills, met and became friends with many new people, and found a wonderful woman (DeNeise, My Love) who was willing to step onto my boat and join my journeys. Confidence as a sailor in life increased.

"...we gave three heavy-hearted cheers, and blindly plunged like fate into the lone Atlantic." - Herman Melville, Moby Dick

As DeNeise and I set out together on our own shared, vast and unique ocean, we really didn't fathom the depth of the ocean, the beauty of the distant lands and seas we would experience, or the strength of the coming winds and storms. Our boat was small at first, but in various ports, after surviving new storms, our boat expanded to a more sizeable, more steady and stronger ship. One that could handle greater portent storms, the challenge of which we had no comprehension.

"Those familiar with sailing know that to get anywhere, you must have wind. Sometimes there are good breezes without storms and heavy seas, but often they go together. An experienced sailor does not fear storms or heavy seas, for they contain the lifeblood of sailing - wind. What experienced sailors fear is no wind, or being becalmed!" - Groberg,TOSOH

Our first new ports in which we harbored for a while brought new experiences, such as attending graduate school in Monterey, California and starting my first real job in my career path in Mesquite, Nevada. Although the impact of these experiences were great, it was the passengers or shipmates that we took aboard during this time that offered the greatest impacts, blessings and challenges that would re-shape our lives.  These shipmates (children) were born to our our family: Latissa, Jorden, Landon and Kylie.  Through these beautiful children, our hearts and our spirits would be stretched many, many times to sizes much larger than we than we thought we had capacity for.

Through the journeys on the oceans of life, we relied heavily on the power of God to steer our ship.  When we practiced having faith in Him and allowed him to set our sails, we found the greatest ability to successfully sail through the winds and the waves.  Having Him at the helm was and is the secret.

"A very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves." - Joseph Smith, Doctrine and Covenants 124:16

Working correctly with the winds and the waves is not always easy. Having the right attitude and perspective, or setting the sails properly, seems to be a constant challenge.  I have long felt and known that having a right attitude about life can make all the difference.  It's not what happens to you, but how you handle it that makes a difference.  Or, as otherwise said in my favorite poem:

One Ship Sails East

One ship sails East,

And another West,

By the self-same winds that blow,

'Tis the set of the sails

And not the gales,

That tells the way we go.

Like the winds of the sea

Are the waves of time,

As we journey along through life,

'Tis the set of the soul,

That determines the goal,

And not the calm or the strife.

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Sometimes, however, even with the right setting of the sails it can be difficult to move forward. That's when it gets a bit trickier, but even in those times, which faith and perseverance, you can move forward.  John Groberg explained the reality of this in sailing through heavy head winds in the seas of Tonga:

"...we had to make long tacks with the sailboat to make any forward progress.  That is, to move a mile forward, you had to go several miles sideways at a small angle and several miles back at a small angle, just to get a little closer to your forward destination. The seas were not overly rough, but because of the head winds, what could have been a half-day's journey took over two days."  - Groberg,TOSOH

Our family moved forward and entered new ports, including the land which we have called home for 14 years - Cedar Hills, Utah. New jobs, including one lost, new schools, new homes, new friends have all been interesting, enjoyable and challenging new ports.

Raising children is a very difficult thing to do, especially in today's challenging world.  The world is as an ocean replete with many diverging winds, waves, storms, sea monsters and darkness.  But mixed in all of that exists also much of beauty, calm, pleasure and joy.  It's a crazy mix.  Helping your children see and understand the differences and consequences, and to set their sails properly, is a tremendous undertaking. 

Early on, I thought that having a strong ship with good sails, and with me trying to be a good captain, my children would be assured to survive all storms successfully, and would do well as shipmates.  And, when they were young, reality played out well with this theory. I was sure that things would continue on this course - how naive to think it was that simple. 

Although in many ways our kids have all been very good shipmates, there have been some wild storms that have tested the strength of ship, captain and crew.  A few of which made us fear a possible shipwreck, or lost crew members.  Herman Mellville's Moby Dick has many passages that describe the experience of such storms:

"The vast swells of the omnipotent sea; the surging, hollow roar they made, as they rolled along the eight gunwales, like gigantic bowls in a boundless bowling-green; the brief suspended agony of the boat, as it would tip for an instant on the knife-like edge of the sharper waves, that almost seemed threatening to cut it in two; the sudden profound dip into the watery glens and hollows; the keen spurrings and goadings to gain the top of the opposite hill; the headlong, sled-like slide down its other side..." - Herman Melville, Moby Dick

Through the heaviest storms, I must admit that I almost lost heart, that I felt very seasick. A seasickness that was well described as "at first you're afraid you'll die; then you get so sick you're afraid you won't." And:
"I often wondered, 'Since the Lord knew how much time I was going to spend on small boats in rough water, why didn't He bless me with a stronger stomach?'"- Groberg,TOSOH

But through it all, our crew has survived, the ship still floats, and it journeys on through the ocean.  Along the way, we have added two new ships to our fleet, as the oldest two kids have married and started their own families.  One could compare our situation now to the small fleet of three ships that sailed through uncharted waters to discover the new lands of America: the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria.  Though the waters we sail through have been charted by others, we have not yet sailed them.  What new lands lay before us?

After having experienced some heavy storms, it can be scary to continue on without knowing what more lies ahead.  Yet we sail on, sometimes with hesitation or even no desire to sail further, but rather leave our ship in port.  But other times we set out with hopeful anticipation of discovering new lands, or just to enjoy a pleasing, calm water sail.  I like how John Groberg characterized his feelings on this:

"There were times when I didn't want to go on the boat, especially when the winds and the seas were boisterous, but except in the worst situations, went anyway.  There were other times when I rode those beautiful silver seas, felt the breeze filling the sails and powering us forward, sensed the rising and falling of the solid, curved wood beneath me, listened to the whistling of the wind, marveled at the many beautiful shades of blue and green and white all about me, and realized I was falling in love with the sea." - Groberg,TOSOH

And I, too, have fallen in love with the sea. I can't say I enjoy the storms, but the times of easy sailing and beautiful weather provide more than enough joy and pleasure to continue on.  I do look forward to the future enjoyment of good ocean sailing, those moments that make life beautiful:

"It was a beautiful evening as we swayed to the gentle, undulating motion of the boat. I marveled at the bright stars above and wondered at the clouds playing hide-and-seek with the moon. I felt the caress of the warm sea breeze and listened to the quiet murmur of peaceful conversations. I was enraptured by the beautiful strumming of guitars and the melodious signing of some of the best voices on earth. It was almost intoxicating. All this and more combined to lull me into a state of wonderment at God's goodness to us all."   - Groberg,TOSOH

A successful journey also requires a good sense of direction, a charted plan for an ultimate port towards which are sailing.  A latter day man of God has given these words of wisdom:

"Like the vital rudder of a ship, we have been provided a way to determine the direction we travel.  The lighthouse of the Lord beckons to all as we sail the seas of life.  Our home port is the celestial kingdom of God.  Our purpose is to steer an undeviating course in that direction.  A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - never likely to reach home port. To us comes the signal:  Chart your course, set your sail, position your rudder, and proceed.

As with the ship, so it is with man. The thrust of the turbines, the power of the propellers are useless without that sense of direction, that harnessing of the energy, that directing of the power provided by the rudder, hidden from view, relatively small in size, but absolutely essential in function." - Thomas S. Monson 

So what does the future hold? I imagine both rough seas and smooth sailing.  There will be new ports, more fleets and additional crew. New, undiscovered lands. Happiness and sorrow.  Improved sailing skills. And, the ship and its captain will get older, hopefully wiser, and more ready to move on to a better and more joyful journey on the new ocean of the next life.
 

Note: There's so much more I could and may write on this subject. But for now, I think this works. Below are more quotes and song lyrics that fit well into my thoughts.  

See also:
http://positivethinkersjournal.blogspot.com/2011/08/sail-on.html
 
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The world isn't interested in the storms you encountered, but whether or not you brought in the ship. - Raul Armesto

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Excerpts from "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville

"Ship and boat diverged; the cold, damp night breeze blew between; a screaming gull flew overhead; the two hulls wildly rolled;

"In the serene weather of the tropics it is exceedingly pleasant the mast-head; nay, to a dreamy meditative man it is delightful. There you stand, a hundred feet above the silent decks, striding along the deep, as if the masts were gigantic stilts, while beneath you and between your legs, as it were, swim the hugest monsters of the sea, even as ships once sailed between the boots of the famous Colossus at old Rhodes. There you stand, lost in the infinite series of the sea, with nothing ruffled but the waves. The tranced ship indolently rolls; the drowsy trade winds blow; everything resolves you into languor."

"In one of those southern whalemen, on a long three or four years' voyage, as often happens, the sum of the various hours you spend at the mast-head would amount to several entire months. And it is much to be deplored that the place to which you devote so considerable a portion of the whole term of your natural life, should be so sadly destitute of anything approaching to a cosy inhabitiveness, or adapted to breed a comfortable localness of feeling, such as pertains to a bed, a hammock, a hearse, a sentry box, a pulpit, a coach, or any other of those small and snug contrivances in which men temporarily isolate themselves."

"There is no life in thee, now, except that rocking life imparted by a gently rolling ship; by her, borrowed from the sea; by the sea, from the inscrutable tides of God. But while this sleep, this dream is on ye, move your foot or hand an inch; slip your hold at all; and your identity comes back in horror. Over Descartian vortices you hover. And perhaps, at mid-day, in the fairest weather, with one half-throttled shriek you drop through that transparent air into the summer sea, no more to rise for ever."

"...the presaging vibrations of the winds in the cordage...the hollow flap of the sails against the masts..."

"I leave a white and turbid wake; pale waters, paler cheeks, where'er I sail. The envious billows sidelong swell to whelm my track; let them; but first I pass."
"Our sail was now set, and, with the still rising wind, we rushed along; the boat going with such madness through the water, that the lee oars could scarcely be worked rapidly enough to escape being torn from the row- locks. Soon we were running through a suffusing wide veil of mist..."

"The wind increased to a howl; the waves dashed their bucklers together; the whole squall roared, forked, and crackled around us like a white fire upon the prairie, in which, unconsumed, we were burning; immortal in these jaws of death!"

"The strange, upheaving, lifting tendency of the taffrail breeze filling the hollows of so many sails, made the buoyant, hovering deck to feel like air beneath the feet; while still she rushed along, as if two antagonistic influences were struggling in her -- one to mount direct to heaven, the other to drive yawingly to some horizontal goal."

"...the contrasting serenity of the weather, in which, beneath all its blue blandness, some thought there lurked a devilish charm, as for days and days we voyaged along, through seas so wearily, lonesomely mild, that all space, in repugnance to our vengeful errand, seemed vacating itself of life before our urn-like prow."

"...the crew driven from the forward part of the ship by the perilous seas that burstingly broke over its bows, stood in a line along the bulwarks in the waist; and the better to guard against the leaping waves, each man had slipped himself into a sort of bowline secured to the rail, in which he swung as in a loosened belt."

"The cabin-compass is called the tell-tale, because without going to the compass at the helm, the Captain, while below, can inform himself of the course of the ship."

"GAM. Noun -- A social meeting of two (or more) Whale-ships, generally on a cruising- ground; when, after exchanging hails, they exchange visits by boats' crews: the two captains remaining, for the time, on board of one ship, and the two chief mates on the other."

"For as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all the horrors of the half known life. God keep thee! Push not off from that isle, thou canst never return!"

"T'gallant sails! -- stunsails! alow and aloft, and on both sides!"

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Excerpts from "The Other Side of Heaven" by John H. Groberg

"The rolling motion of the boat, together with a long voyage, a tropical breeze, beautiful music, and tender feelings, combined to bring out emotions that are deep and basic and that may be closer to the surface under these circumstances than in some other climates."

"On rough voyages, I was very sick, but occasionally I would have a voyage during which I didn't feel sick at all. What a blessing that was! Being ill during most of thos trips made my joy and thanksgiving very meaningful when I had a voyage that was relatively smooth and I didn't feel very sick. Once in a while my happiness became almost ecstasy as I realized I was in the midst of a heavy storm with the boat twisting and jerking and bouncing all over creation - and I was not ill!"

"I should have been frightened to death to go out on that unpredictable sea in a tiny sailboat with holes in the hull, old sails that often ripped, and ropes that were largely rotten."

"One of the problems with all of the safety consciousness we have today is that it tends to cause us to hesitate to do things that we might otherwise do. I'm sure it's good to have better information, such as weather reports, forecasting, safety inspections, and audits, but I sometimes wonder if we don't get so filled with facts and figures and possible dangers that we do less than we should. I suppose we could all find legitamate reasons to hardly do anything because of the potential dangers involved..."

"As I see it, all of life is a risk, which is where faith comes in. We do what is right, and let the chips fall where they may."

"Even in troubled waters we make more progress if we are trying than if we wait until the dangers and discomforts are removed."

"I didn't look on these voyages as acts of faith so much as a performance of duty. I'm sure I didn't understand all the dangers involved, which was probably just as well. Many times on those voyages things got pretty rough, and a few times life and death at sea hung on very tenuous threads, but that was just the way things were. What a great blessing it was to know that God was there! It was always comforting to remember Him calming the turbulent seas."

"The boat had one center mast and required at least three people to keep it going properly: one person at the rudder, one to work the main sail,and one to work the sail."

"I enjoyed working the jib sail the most because it was smaller."

"When there were good winds, the helmsman could handle the rudder and the main sail ropes together."
"At times the deep blue of the ocean and the bright white of the spray would almost merge with the blue of the sky and the white of the clouds, making it hard to tell where I actually was."
"Once I asked the Lord to bless us with a good tail wind so we could get to Foa quickly. As we got under way, one of the older men said, 'Elder Groberg, you need to modify your prayers a little.'
'How's that?' I replied.
'You asked the Lord for a tail wind to take us rapidly to Foa. If you pray for a tail wind to Foa, what about the people who are trying to come from Foa to Pangai? Thye are good people, and you are praying against them. Just pray for a good wind, not a tail wind.'
That taught me something important. Sometimes we pray for things that will benefit us but may hurt others."

"The captain looked at me and patiently said,'The winds have been against us. WHo are you going to blame for that? Are you going to curse God? Or tell Him He doesn't know what He's doing? He controls the winds and the currents, and we are in His hands.'"

"Sometimes the sea is fairly calm with a good wind, and it thrills me inside to stand on the bow of the ship, raise the sails, and watch the wind fill the white canvas and see the keel begin to cut the water, billow with the power of nature, and we literally glide through the ocean."

"It fills you with pride as you feel the power of the elements under your control, but you soon realize it isn't our power when the wind decides to stop."

"No sooner than we committed ourselves to the open seas than the intensity of the storm seemed to increase sevenfold. The small gale became a major storm."

"How often do we not do more because we pray for wind and none comes? We pray for good things and they don't seem to happen, so we sit and wait and do no more. We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impressions to proceed in different ways from those we may have thought of. God does hear our prayers. God knows more than we do. He has had infinitely greater expereince than we have. We should never stop moving because we think our way is barred or the only door we can go through is seemingly closed."

"The undulating motion of the boat, along with the warm afternoon sun and the warmth of concern I felt from everyone, eventually lulled me to sleep."

"...it is probably beyond the grasp of most who have not been in a small boat on a dark night to understand fully the great value of a beacon light on perilous waters."

"During the long night, the winds howled, the spray flew, the boat creaked, and the sails and ropes moaned as we alternately rode the crests of waves and plunged into valleys of darkness.  There was no intense fear, however, for we all knew we were in God's hands."

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil." - Psalms 23:4

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Hymns

Master, the tempest is raging!
The billows are tossing high!
The sky is o’ershadowed with blackness,
No shelter or help is nigh;
Carest Thou not that we perish?
How canst Thou lie asleep,
When each moment so madly is threat’ning
A grave in the angry deep?

The winds and the waves shall obey Thy will,
Peace, be still!
Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea,
Or demons or men, or whatever it be,
No waters can swallow the ship where lies
The Master of ocean, and earth, and skies;
They all shall sweetly obey Thy will,
Peace, be still! Peace, be still!
They all shall sweetly obey Thy will,
Peace, peace, be still!

Master, with anguish of spirit
I bow in my grief today;
The depths of my sad heart are troubled—
Oh, waken and save, I pray!
Torrents of sin and of anguish
Sweep o’er my sinking soul;
And I perish! I perish! dear Master—
Oh, hasten, and take control.

Master, the terror is over,
The elements sweetly rest;
Earth’s sun in the calm lake is mirrored,
And heaven’s within my breast;
Linger, O blessed Redeemer!
Leave me alone no more;
And with joy I shall make the blest harbor,
And rest on the blissful shore.

"Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me"
Jesus, Savior, pilot me
Over life's tempestuous sea;
Unknown waves before me roll,
Hiding rock and treacherous shoal.
Chart and compass come from Thee:
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

As a mother stills her child,
Thou canst hush the ocean wild;
Boisterous waves obey Thy will
When Thou say'st to them, "Be still!"
Wondrous Sovereign of the sea,
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

When at last I near the shore,
And the fearful breakers roar
'Twixt me and the peaceful rest,
Then, while leaning on Thy breast,
May I hear Thee say to me,
"Fear not, I will pilot thee."

Brightly Beams Our Father’s Mercy
From his lighthouse evermore,
But to us he gives the keeping
Of the lights along the shore.

Let the lower lights be burning;
Send a gleam across the wave.
Some poor fainting, struggling seaman
You may rescue, you may save.

2. Dark the night of sin has settled;
Loud the angry billows roar.
Eager eyes are watching, longing,
For the lights along the shore.

3. Trim your feeble lamp, my brother;
Some poor sailor, tempest-tossed,
Trying now to make the harbor,
In the darkness may be lost.

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Sailing Songs

Come Sail Away by Styx
I'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea
I've got to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of me
On board, I'm the captain, so climb aboard
We'll search for tomorrow on every shore
And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to carry on

I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever, so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But we'll try best that we can to carry on

A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope, and this is what they said
They said come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me

I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise
They climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies
Singing come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away, come sail away
Come sail away with me

Sailing by Christopher Cross
Well, it's not far down to paradise, at least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away and find tranquility
Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see.
Believe me.

It's not far to never-never land, no reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy of innocence again
Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see.
Believe me.

Sailing takes me away to where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free

Fantasy, it gets the best of me
When I'm sailing
All caught up in the reverie, every word is a symphony
Won't you believe me?

Sailing takes me away to where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free

Well it's not far back to sanity, at least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away and find serenity
Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see.
Believe me.

Sailing takes me away to where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free.

Southern Cross by Crosby Stills and Nash
Got out of town on a boat
Goin' to Southern islands.
Sailing a reach
Before a followin' sea.
She was makin' for the trades
On the outside,
And the downhill run
To Papeete.
Off the wind on this heading
Lie the Marquesas.
We got eighty feet of the waterline.
Nicely making way.
In a noisy bar in Avalon
I tried to call you.
But on a midnight watch I realized
Why twice you ran away.

Think about how many times
I have fallen
Spirits are using me
larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me
Cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woman/girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.
And you know it will.
When you see the Southern Cross
For the first time
You understand now
Why you came this way
'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from
Is so small.

But it's as big as the promise
The promise of a comin' day.
So I'm sailing for tomorrow
My dreams are a dyin'.
And my love is an anchor tied to you
Tied with a silver chain.
I have my ship
And all her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have left
And music is her name.

Think about how many times
I have fallen
Spirits are using me
larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me
Cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woma/girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.
And you know it will.
So we cheated and we lied
And we tested
And we never failed to fail
It was the easiest thing to do.
You will survive being bested.
Somebody fine
Will come along
Make me forget about loving you.
At the Southern Cross.