What You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Here is a list of 15 things that, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress, and suffering — and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress-free and happy — we cling to them.

Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right.
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong — wanting to always be right — even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the "urgent" need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question from Dr. Wayne Dyer: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control.
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you — situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street, just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and see how much better you feel.

3. Give up on blame.
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk.
Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted, and repetitive self-defeating mindsets? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you — especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that. As author Eckhart Tolle says, “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.”

5. Give up your limiting beliefs.
Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do and about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

6. Give up complaining.
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things that make you unhappy. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism.
Give up your need to criticize people who are different from you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy. We all want to love and be loved. We all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others.
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard — the moment you take off all your masks and accept and embrace the real you — is the moment people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

Minds only work when open.

9. Give up your resistance to change.
Change is good. Change will help you make improvements in your life and the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss and embrace change — don’t resist it.

10. Give up labels.
Stop labeling those things, people, or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

11. Give up on your fears.
Fear is just an illusion; It doesn’t exist — you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. Franklin D. Roosevelt was right when he said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

12. Give up your excuses.
A lot of times we limit ourselves with the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves with all kind of excuses — excuses that 99.9 percent of the time are not even real. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them.

13. Give up the past.
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all, life is a journey, not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future and prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

The present moment is all you have and all you will ever have.

14. Give up attachment.
This is a concept that is hard for most of us to grasp (and I have to tell you that it still is for me, too), but it’s not impossible. It will become easier and easier with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all possessions, you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene.

That's not to say you must give up your love for everything, because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another. Attachment comes from a place of fear, while love … well, real love is pure, kind, and selfless. Where there is love there can’t be fear, so attachment and love cannot coexist.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies, their teachers, their government, and their media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voices. They are so busy pleasing everybody that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need … and eventually they forget about themselves.

You have one life — this one right now — you must live it, own it. Don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

22 Reasons Why I Won't Be Voting For Trump

I feel the need, in the spirit of achieving a hopeful POSITIVE outcome, to offer this political posting on my Positive Thinkers Journal blog.

TWENTY-TWO REASONS WHY I WON'T BE VOTING FOR TRUMP

Do you really want this guy running our county?

Here are a multitude of reasons why I won’t be voting for Trump, which are based on verifiable facts, including things he has said and done that prove his negative character and his inability to be a good, positive, and effective leader of our nation:

1. Not a proven leader where it counts for our country. Bluster and insults are not enough when it comes to our economic, spiritual and social futures. Running real estate and casino companies have nothing to do with running a country, creating alliances in Congress, or dealing with foreign allies and enemies. He has shown ignorance on the effects that his tax plan would have on the deficit. Running a lemonade stand is not the same as running a massive citrus farm.

2. Has few actual policies. Presidential contenders typically draft detailed policies that they intend to pursue if elected. Beyond building a “great, great wall” along the southern border and sticking it to China, Trump has released few detailed policies. His website offers just five short position papers.

3. Has scary international politics and inexperience. Trump claimed he would rid the world of the Islamic State by “bombing the s— out of them.”  The problem is that, to be tough, you actually have to know how to win. Toughness without strategy is just bluster. Such nuclear-cowboy actions would slaughter innocent families on an enormous scale. As former defense secretary Robert Gates said people “making these broad pronouncements” simply “don’t know what they’re talking about.” 

He has repeatedly revealed his ignorance on basic matters of national interest. Trump didn’t know what the nuclear triad was when asked in December’s debate, nor in November’s debate that China wasn’t a party to the Trans-Pacific Partnership, which is intended to counter that country’s economic influence. (The nuclear triad is the doomsday force of land-based missiles, long-range bombers and submarine-launched missiles that the President can order used if America is attacked.) Trump has shown ignorance on the difference between the Quds Force in Iran and the Kurds to their west, and on North Korea’s nuclear tests.

His plans to quickly and “humanely” expel 11 million illegal immigrants, to force Mexico to pay for the wall he will build on our southern border, to defeat the Islamic State “very quickly” while as a bonus taking its oil, to bar Muslims from immigrating to the United States — are naive pipe dreams and public relations stunts.

Trump said that the U.S. would be better off “if we had Saddam Hussein and we had Gaddafi in charge."

4. Not a positive leader.  As George W. Bush said, “We do not need someone in the Oval Office who mirrors and inflames our anger and frustrations; we need someone who can fix the problems that cause their anger and frustration.”

5. Not a true conservative.  His liberal politics in the past were shown as he favored the economic stimulus plan, the automobile industry bailouts, the bank bailouts and the assault-weapons ban; he has called himself “very pro-choice,” “very liberal” and a backer of “universal health care”; during the 2012 campaign, he criticized Republican Mitt Romney’s harsh immigration rhetoric – and yet he wants to build a wall on the Mexican border and deport 11 million of them?

For those who are truly conservative in politics, a businessman like Trump who is legendary for deal-making should be the last person they would want in the White House.

6. A political party flip-flopper. His party affiliation switched in 1999 from Republican to independent, then to Democrat in 2001, then to Republican in 2009. As recently as 2008, he praised Hillary Clinton, writing that “I know Hillary and I think she’d make a great president or vice-president.” In 2004 he told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, “I probably identify more as Democrat.” This is the sign of a man guilty of blatant pandering. This from the Republican front-runner.

7. A part of the “establishment” that people say they hate. Just because Trump has never held elective office does not mean he’s out of touch with the political class. Bill and Hillary Clinton attended his wedding. He is a crony capitalist. He’s given a ton of money (mostly to Democrats) to politicians, and sucks up to them like anybody else.

8. His nomination would be the worst outcome for Republicans. It is impossible to predict where the political contest between Trump and Hillary Clinton would end up. Clinton has manifestly poor political skills, and Trump possesses a serious talent for the low blow. But Trump’s nomination would not be the temporary victory of one of the GOP’s ideological factions. It would involve the replacement of the humane ideal at the center of the party and its history. If Trump is the nominee, the GOP will cease to be.

The ideals of the Republican the party that were set by Abraham Lincoln included “human dignity, honored by human freedom and undergirded by certain moral commitments, including compassion and tolerance.”  Where in this do Donald Trump’s antics fit?

9. Will be powerless to do a lot of the things people say they want, to make new laws, alter U.S. strategy. A vote for Trump is a guarantee that actual, realistic changes people say they want will never happen. Instead of translating outraged voices into meaningful action, we will find a candidate who knowingly made promises he couldn’t keep.

10. Attacks anyone who disagrees with him, from journalists to other politicians to Muslims at large — people who have the freedom to disagree with him.  Mr. tough-guy Trump can't handle tough questions about his past and things he has said, and withdrew from Fox News’s presidential debate because he didn’t think host Megyn Kelly would treat him fairly. Trump has called Mexican immigrants criminals and rapists, and said of an African-American protester, “Maybe he should have been roughed up because it was absolutely disgusting what he was doing.”

11. Crass, rude and offensive.  He repeated a vulgarity that was said as a crass insult to candidate Ted Cruz, and defended it as being a “favor” for a crowd in New Hampshire. He publicly offended candidate Carly Fiorina by saying 'Look at that face!' he cries. 'Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?!' and questioned how we could seriously support her because she's a woman. He physically mocked a Times journalist with a disability, ridiculed Senator John McCain for being a P.O.W., made a reference to “blood” intended to degrade a female journalist and compared one of his opponents to a child molester.

On Mexican immigrants he said, "They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists". He has proposed registering all Muslims. Not since the days of the Confederacy have American leaders openly criticized another race or religion. And, there are many more well documented instances of offensive, racist, ignorant and misogynist comments. Such behavior is common to him, just like a school-yard bully.

As Megyn Kelly said in the first GOP debate, “You’ve called women you don’t like, ‘fat pigs,’ ‘dogs,’ ‘slobs’ and ‘disgusting animals.’ … Your Twitter account has several disparaging comments about women’s looks. You once told a contestant on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ it would be a pretty picture to see her on her knees."

"Does that sound to you like the temperament of a man we should elect as president?”

12. His character flaws are very evident. Trump is erratic, inconsistent and unprincipled. He possesses a streak of crudity and cruelty. He has a penchant for blaming others for his mistakes, he has put out many several misogynistic and racist tweets, and shown himself to be a man averse to being humbled by his errors and unwilling to learn from them. He describes himself as “a really smart person,” frequently mentioning his Ivy League education. He promises to personally out-negotiate Iran, Mexico, Russia, China and any other international foe. What he does lack is humility, telling a Tonight Show audience that “I will absolutely apologize, sometime in the hopefully distant future, if I’m ever wrong.”

Mr. Trump’s legendary narcissism would be comical were it not dangerous in someone seeking the nation’s highest office — as he demonstrated when he showered praise on the brutal, anti-American president of Russia, Vladimir Putin, responding to Mr. Putin’s expression of admiration for Mr. Trump.

Trump’s persona is very much the overbearing alpha male character he honed as a reality television star.

13. Filed for bankruptcy 4 times in an effort to save his casino businesses. Sometimes bankruptcy is the result of circumstances beyond the control of the business - such as a struggling casino industry (Need I say anything about how honorable an industry this is for a future president to be involved in?) Usually, bankruptcies are a combination of poor judgment and situations beyond control. Not just once or twice, but 4 times?

Outside of bankruptcies, Trump has been involved with a whole slew of other business failures, from an airline to selling meat. Yet, he is considered a good businessman?

14. Hesitant to reveal his tax returns. When Hugh Hewitt, one of the moderators, told Trump that he said he would release his returns a year ago, the candidate replied: “First of all, very few people listen to your radio show. I want to release my tax returns. But I can’t release them while I’m under audit.” On CNN afterward, Trump claimed that the IRS might be auditing him because he’s a strong Christian. What?? 

Trump’s hesitancy to reveal his tax returns will show, as Mitt Romney suggested, "Either he's not as anywhere near as wealthy as he says he is or he hasn't been paying the kind of taxes we would expect him to pay, or perhaps he hasn't been giving money to the vets or to the disabled like he's been telling us he's been doing.”

15. Has been involved in illegal business practices, including being fined for hiring illegal immigrants to work at his properties. His Trump University is being examined for fraud, against which several lawsuits have been filed.

16. Divorced two times because of extra-marital affairs – Trumps marriage to first wife Ivana lasted 14 years. They divorced because of his affair with Marla Maples who had his baby out of wedlock. Two months after the baby was born he married Marla, but then they divorced only 5 years later. He had extra-marital affairs with model Kara Young and future and current wife Melania Knauss while still married to Marla.

Can a man who can’t be faithful to his wife be faithful to his nation?

Only one other president in U.S. history has been divorced, and only once. Ronald Reagan was a Hollywood actor whose actress wife Jane Wyman filed to divorce him in 1948 because of his political ambitions. He married his second wife Nancy Davis three years later and they remained married for 52 years until he died. Not at all a scenario that compares with Trump's philandering caused divorces.

17. A Vietnam draft dodger. Trump received 4 draft deferments while a college student at the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School, and finally got a medical exemption that staved off the draft. Trump wasn’t drafted because of “bone spurs” in his feet that have since miraculously vanished. Every one of our 44 presidents has had either government or military experience before being sworn in. Mr. Trump, a real estate mogul and former reality-television star, hasn’t served a day in public office or the armed forces.

18. A big, loud mouth, saying whatever the moment needs to rally support. You say you like him because he's not afraid to speak his mind? No, it's more like he speaks your mind. He says what you want to hear. Not that he has the ability or knowledge of how to do anything he says.  That doesn't matter, right?  As long as you can say it in a loud-mouthed way, you must be able to do it, right? And much of what he says is done in a provocative and unprofessional manner.

As former President George W. Bush said, "Strength is not empty rhetoric. It is not bluster. It is not theatrics. Real strength, strength of purpose, comes from integrity and character. And in my experience, the strongest person usually isn't the loudest one in the room."

19. A dishonest man that manipulates the truth.  Polls have revealed that Trump supporters want an outsider because they’re tired of political elites who constantly lie and manipulate the truth.  Yet, Trump has proven to be the most dishonest politician running for president. FactCheck.org, which called him the “King of Whoppers,” said, “In the 12 years of FactCheck.org’s existence, we’ve never seen his match.” Politifact awarded Trump the 2015 Lie of the Year because 65 percent of his statements were mostly false, false or “pants on fire.” Only 1 percent were strictly true.

Trump not only lies, but doubles down on those lies. Examples include saying that Muslims in New Jersey cheered 9/11, that vaccines cause autism, that President Obama wasn’t born in the United States and that global warming is a hoax perpetrated by China to close U.S. factories.

All indications show that Trump is a big phony who says whatever he can, bullying and lying, all for political gain.

20. His claims to be religious are for show and highly suspect of being an effort to win evangelical support. When asked about favorite Bible verses or making references to the Bible, his answers have made it clear that he has a fundamental lack of familiarity with the book.  On Trump's plans to build a wall on the Mexican border, Pope Francis said, “A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not Christian. This is not in the Gospel."

21. A poor example for children. Generations of American parents have inspired their children to grow up to be President. But a would-be President who insults women, spews profanity, is on his third wife, and calls anyone who disagrees with him a “loser” may not be someone to look up to.

22. Will accept any endorsement, even the Ku Klux Klan. Trump refused several opportunities to denounce an implicit endorsement from former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke, and he even went so far as to claim that he didn’t know David Duke or what he and white supremacy groups stand for. Aw c’mon. There’s much evidence to the contrary.

If the Ku Klux Klan endorses him, what does that say?

There are plenty more reasons, but isn't that enough?  Again, do you really want this guy running our county?

NOTE: The information to compile this list came from various sources, not documented here, but all are verifiable and searchable on Google.

Four Virtues To Live By - Wayne W. Dyer

“Some 2,500 years ago, Lao-tzu spoke of ‘the four cardinal virtues’ and noted that when we practice them as a way of life, we come to know and access the truth of the universe. These four virtues don’t represent external dogma, but a part of our original nature—by practicing them, we realign with Source and access the powers that Source energy has to offer. According to the teachings of Lao-tzu, the four cardinal virtues represent the surest way to leave habits and excuses behind and reconnect to your original nature. The more your life is harmonized with the four virtues, the less you’re controlled by the uncompromising ego.

The First Cardinal Virtue: Reverence for All Life
The first cardinal virtue manifests in your daily life as unconditional love and respect for all beings in creation. This includes making a conscious effort to love and respect yourself, as well as to remove all judgments and criticisms. Understand that you are a piece of God, and since you must be like what you came from, you are lovable, worthy, and Godlike. Affirm this as often as you can, for when you see yourself in a loving way, you have nothing but love to extend outward. And the more you love others, the less you need old excuse patterns, particularly those relating to blame.

The Second Cardinal Virtue: Natural Sincerity
This virtue manifests itself as honesty, simplicity, and faithfulness; and it’s summed up by the popular reminder to be true to yourself. Using an excuse to explain why your life isn’t working at the level you prefer isn’t being true to yourself—when you’re completely honest and sincere, excuses don’t even enter into the picture. The second virtue involves living a life that reflects choices that come from respect and affection for your own nature. Make truth your most important attribute. Walk your talk; that is, become sincere and honest in all that you say and do. If you find this to be a challenge, take a moment to affirm: I no longer need to be insincere or dishonest. This is who I am, and this is how I feel. When you know and trust yourself, you also know and trust the Divinity that created you. If you live from honesty, sincerity, and faithfulness to the callings of your spirit, you’ll never have occasion to use excuses.

The Third Cardinal Virtue: Gentleness
This virtue personifies one of my favorite and most frequently employed maxims: ‘When you have the choice to be right or to be kind, always pick kind.’ So many of your old thinking habits and their attendant excuses come out of a need to make yourself right and others wrong. When you practice this third virtue, you eliminate conflicts that result in your need to explain why you’re right. This virtue manifests as kindness, consideration for others, and sensitivity to spiritual truth.

Gentleness generally implies that you no longer have a strong ego-inspired desire to dominate or control others, which allows you to move into a rhythm with the universe. You cooperate with it, much like a surfer who rides with the waves instead of trying to overpower them. Gentleness means accepting life and people as they are, rather than insisting that they be as you are. As you practice living this way, blame disappears and you enjoy a peaceful world.

The Fourth Cardinal Virtue: Supportiveness
This virtue manifests in your life as service to others without any expectation of reward. Once again, when you extend yourself in a spirit of giving, helping, or loving, you act as God acts. As you consider the many excuses that have dominated your life, look carefully at them—you’ll see that they’re all focused on the ego: I can’t do this. I’m too busy or too scared. I’m unworthy. No one will help me. I’m too old. I’m too tired. Now imagine shifting your attention off of yourself and asking the universal mind How may I serve? When you do so, the message you’re sending is: I’m not thinking about myself and what I can or can’t have. Your attention is on making someone else feel better.

The greatest joy comes from giving and serving, so replace your habit of focusing exclusively on yourself and what’s in it for you. When you make the shift to supporting others in your life, without expecting anything in return, you’ll think less about what you want and find comfort and joy in the act of giving and serving.

The four cardinal virtues are a road map to the simple truth of the universe. To revere all of life, to live with natural sincerity, to practice gentleness, and to be in service to others is to replicate the energy field from which you originated.” 

-Wayne

Wisdom From Two Successful Women: Oprah Winfrey and J.K. Rowling

From Oprah Winfrey:

“I don't believe in failure. It is not failure if you enjoyed the process.”

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”

“Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand.”

“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” 

“Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.”

“Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility.”

“The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be.”

“I feel that luck is preparation meeting opportunity."

“Whatever you fear most has no power — it is your fear that has the power.”

“Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance.” 

“I believe that one of life's greatest risks is never daring to risk.”

“Check your ego at the door and check your gut instead. Every right decision I have ever made has come from my gut.“

“I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.”

“You are built not to shrink down to less but to blossom into more.” 

“Difficulties come when you don't pay attention to life's whisper. Life always whispers to you first, but if you ignore the whisper, sooner or later you'll get a scream.”

“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.”

“Every time you state what you want or believe, you're the first to hear it. It's a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don't put a ceiling on yourself.”

“Be more splendid, more extraordinary. Use every moment to fill yourself up.” 

“I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we're not wise enough to see it.”

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.”

From J.K. Rowling:

“I mean, you could claim anything’s real if the only basis for believing in it is that nobody’s proved it doesn’t exist!”

“Some failure in life is inevitable It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all — in which case, you fail by default.”

“Is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me."

“As is a tale, so is life: Not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.”

“I don't think there's any harm at all in allowing a kid to fantasize. In fact, I think to stop people from fantasizing is a very destructive thing indeed.”

"We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.”

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” – Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

"Never be ashamed! There's some who'll hold it against you, but they're not worth bothering with."

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” — Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Whatever money you might have, self-worth really lies in finding out what you do best.”

“It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.” — Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“Whatever money you might have, self-worth really lies in finding out what you do best.”

“What’s coming will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.” – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"Why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me."

Actions Above Excuses

The Balance of Branches and Roots

What humans can learn from grapes about life

A few years back I lived just outside Florence, Italy in the

Chianti region of Italy where the famous Chianti wines are made. One day I was walking along a trail next to a vineyard when I came upon an elderly farmer standing among his grape vines. Eager to practice my Italian, I said to the man, “This is a beautiful vineyard you have.”

“Tante grazie,” he replied.

“You must have very good soil to grow such grapes that make famous wines.”

The man looked at me then said, “No, Signore. You cannot grow good grapes in good soil.”

I thought this curious and so when I got back home I looked it up on the internet. The farmer was right of course. I learned that bad soil yields higher quality grapes than good soil because, in poor soil, the vines have to work harder, branching off more roots to gather nutrients. Not only does this increase the amount of nutrients that ultimately get to the grape, but it also regulates how much water the plant gets. If a vine has too much water, the result is a fat, characterless grape.

This is a perfect metaphor for we humans as well. Trials and challenges rise before us like mountains. But mountains can raise us or bury us depending on which side of the mountain we choose to stand. Ultimately it’s a matter of choice. Some people choose to be whiners, some choose to be winners. Some choose to be victims, some choose to be victors.

We can spend our days bemoaning our hurts or we can grow from them. Ultimately the choice is ours. We can be victims of circumstance or masters of our own fate, but make no mistake, we cannot be both.

History and life teach us that more times than not we do not succeed in spite of our challenges and difficulties but, rather, precisely because of them.

Even a grape knows that.

- Richard Paul Evans

The Good Wolf - Motivational Video

Read the legend here:
The Wolves Within

Control Your Thoughts, Lessen Your Pain

"Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you Fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeated again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life’s blueprint. Smile!" - Og Mandino

The 1 Thing Happy People Do Every Day

Happy people practice gratitude every day.

While this may seem simple enough, our minds tend to focus on what we're missing out on instead of being grateful for everything we already have. Our generation has it even harder because we are living in a social world where we are constantly connected. It's easy to feel like you don't have enough when everyone on your social feed appears to be doing cooler things than you.

Good news: there are ways to practice gratitude each day to live your best life. Here's how.

1. Meditate

Starting your day with five minutes of silence has been proven to change your brain chemistry, making you more resilient against life's hardships. However, there are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to meditation. I used to think you had to think about absolutely nothing (which is pretty much impossible) during your practice. But really, meditation is all about being present and not focusing on what you're going to have for dinner or that you forgot to pick up something at the grocery store. The purpose of meditation is to take time for yourself to set an intention for your day and be grateful in that moment.

2. Create a gratitude journal

A gratitude journal is different than a regular journal because it makes you focus on only the good stuff rather than venting about your worries or writing down everything that went wrong in the day. Each day, you should write down at least three things that you're grateful for. By doing this, you can actually rewire your brain to be happier. It's kind of like the "camera effect." When you have a camera, you're constantly looking for interesting things to capture. Instead of hating the graffiti, you might shift your way of thinking and try to make it aesthetically pleasing in your frame. That's how the gratitude journal works for your disposition. Instead of focusing on pessimistic thoughts, you're going about your day looking for positive things to add to your gratitude journal.

3. Surround yourself with positive people

Reflect on your mood and outlook, after you spend time with certain friends. Do you feel inspired and connected or do you feel drained and dissatisfied? If it's the latter, you might want to reevaluate your friendship. We only get one life to live, so why waste any time surrounding yourself with negative influences? It's not easy to cut certain people from your life, but it's even worse to feel unhappy because of the people you're surrounded by. By positioning yourself around inspirational and positive people, you're setting yourself up for a more sunny outlook and successful future.

4. Talk back to your negativity

You know that inner dialogue that says you're not smart enough, pretty enough, or cool enough? While those nagging thoughts are completely normal, the trick is to talk back to them with positive affirmations so they don't get in the way of your happiness. It may seem silly at first, but it works, trust me. If I catch my mind going down a dark rabbit hole, I counter it with logic and positivity. It's OK to have bad thoughts, but what's more important is how you react to them and to make sure they don't take over your life.

5. Focus more on your community and others than yourself

When you're down in the dumps, it's easy to get lost in "me, me, me," which can lead to self-pity and depression. However, when you take yourself out of the equation, you'll start to feel happier because you're helping other people. Try volunteering, writing cards to loved ones, or cooking dinner for a friend in need.

If you practice gratitude each day, you'll slowly start to see a positive change in your disposition and overall outlook on life. It will take discipline and self-control, but really, aren't things you work hardest for worth it in the end?

by Stephanie Wong

The Surprising Benefit Of Going Through Hard Times

Psychologists studying post-traumatic growth find that many people come to thrive in the aftermath of adversity.
This excerpt is from the new book Wired to Create: Unravelling the Mysteries of the Creative Mind, by psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman and HuffPost Senior Writer Carolyn Gregoire.

One of Frida Kahlo’s most famous self-portraits depicts her in a hospital bed naked and bleeding, connected by a web of red veins to floating objects that include a snail, a flower, bones, and a fetus. Henry Ford Hospital, the 1932 surrealist painting, is a powerful artistic rendering of Kahlo’s second miscarriage.

Kahlo wrote in her diaries that the painting “carries with it the message of pain.” The painter was known for channeling the experience of multiple miscarriages, childhood polio, and a number of other misfortunes into her iconic self-portraits, and a real understanding of her work requires some knowledge of the suffering that motivated it.

The phenomenon of art born from adversity can be seen not only in the lives of famous creators, but also in the lab. In the past 20 years, psychologists have begun studying post-traumatic growth, which has now been observed in more than 300 scientific studies.

The term post-traumatic growth was coined in the 1990s by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun to describe instances of individuals who experienced profound transformation as they coped with various types of trauma and challenging life circumstances. Up to 70 percent of trauma survivors report some positive psychological growth, research has found.

Growth after trauma can take a number of different forms, including a greater appreciation for life, the identification of new possibilities for one’s life, more satisfying interpersonal relationships, a richer spiritual life and a connection to something greater than oneself, and a sense of personal strength. A battle with cancer, for instance, can result in a renewed gratitude for one’s family, while a near-death experience could be a catalyst for connecting with a more spiritual side of life. Psychologists have found that experiences of trauma also commonly lead to increased empathy and altruism, and a motivation to act for the benefit of others.

Life After Trauma
So how is it that out of suffering we can come to not only return to our baseline state but to deeply improve our lives? And why are some people crushed by trauma, while others thrive? Tedeschi and Calhoun explain that post-traumatic growth, in whatever form it takes, can be “an experience of improvement that is for some persons deeply profound.”

The two University of North Carolina researchers created the most accepted model of post-traumatic growth to date, which holds that people naturally develop and rely on a set of beliefs and assumptions that they’ve formed about the world, and in order for growth to occur after a trauma, the traumatic event must deeply challenge those beliefs. By Tedeschi and Calhoun’s account, the way that trauma shatters our worldviews, beliefs, and identities is like an earthquake—even our most foundational structures of thought and belief crumble to pieces from the magnitude of the impact. We are shaken, almost literally, from our ordinary perception, and left to rebuild ourselves and our worlds. The more we are shaken, the more we must let go of our former selves and assumptions, and begin again from the ground up.

“A psychologically seismic event can severely shake, threaten, or reduce to rubble many of the schematic structures that have guided understanding, decision making, and meaningfulness,” they write.

The physical rebuilding of a city that takes place after an earthquake can be likened to the cognitive processing and restructuring that an individual experiences in the wake of a trauma. Once the most foundational structures of the self have been shaken, we are in a position to pursue new—and perhaps creative—opportunities.

The “rebuilding” process looks something like this: After a traumatic event, such as a serious illness or loss of a loved one, individuals intensely process the event—they’re constantly thinking about what happened, and usually with strong emotional reactions.

It’s important to note that sadness, grief, anger, and anxiety, of course, are common responses to trauma, and growth generally occurs alongside these challenging emotions—not in place of them. The process of growth can be seen as a way to adapt to extremely adverse circumstances and to gain an understanding of both the trauma and its negative psychological impact.

Rebuilding can be an incredibly challenging process. The work of growth requires detaching from and releasing deep-seated goals, identities, and assumptions, while also building up new goals, schemas, and meanings. It can be grueling, excruciating, and exhausting. But it can open the door to a new life. The trauma survivor begins to see herself as a thriver and revises her self-definition to accommodate her new strength and wisdom. She may reconstruct herself in a way that feels more authentic and true to her inner self and to her own unique path in life.

Creative Growth
Out of loss, there can be creative gain. Of course, it's important to note that trauma is neither necessary nor sufficient for creativity. Experiences of trauma in any form are tragic and psychologically devastating, no matter what type of creative growth occurs in their aftermath. These experiences can just as easily lead to long-term loss as gain. Indeed, loss and gain, suffering and growth, often co‑occur.

Because adverse events force us to reexamine our beliefs and priorities, they can help us break out of habitual ways of thinking and thereby boost creativity, explains Marie Forgeard, a psychologist at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School, who has done extensive research into post-traumatic growth and creativity.

“We’re forced to reconsider things we took for granted, and we’re forced to think about new things,” says Forgeard. “Adverse events can be so powerful that they force us to think about questions we never would have thought of otherwise.”

Creativity can even become a sort of coping mechanism after a difficult experience. Some people might find that the experience of adversity forces them to question their basic assumptions about the world and therefore to think more creatively. Others might find that they have a new (or renewed) motivation to spend time engaged in creative activities. And others who already had a strong interest in creative work may turn to creativity as the main way of rebuilding their lives.

Self-Respect Starts With Loving and Forgiving Others

Perhaps the greatest mistake we make, which causes a loss of self-respect, is making the opinions of others more important than our own opinion of ourselves. Self-respect means just what it says—it originates form the self. This self originated in a universal field of intention that intended you here – from the infinite formless state to a being of molecules and physical substance. If you fail to respect yourself, you’re showing contempt for the process of Creation.

You’ll find no shortage of opinions directed at you. If you allow them to undermine your self-respect, you’re seeking the respect of others over your own, and you’re abdicating yourself. Then you’re attempting to reconnect to the field of intention with low-energy attitudes of judgment, hostility, and anxiety. You’ll cycle into low-energy vibrations that will simply force you to attract more and more of these lower energies into your life. Remember, it’s high energy that nullifies and converts lower energy. Light eradicates darkness; love dissolves hate. If you’ve allowed any of those lower negative thoughts and opinions directed your way to become the basis of your self-portrait, you’re asking the universal mind to do the same. Why? Because at the high frequencies, the universal Source of intention is pure creativeness, love, kindness, beauty, and abundance. Self-respect attracts the higher energy. Lack of self-respect attracts the lower. It knows no other way.

The negative view points of others represent their low-energy ego working on you. Very simple, if you’re judging anyone, you aren’t loving them at that moment. The judgements coming your way, likewise, are unloving but have nothing to do with your self-respect. Their judgements (and yours as well) distance you from your Source, and therefore away from your power of intention. As my friend and colleague Gerald Jampolsky observed, “When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teachers of forgiveness in my life, reminding me that I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge.”

This is how you return to the self in self-respect. Rather than judging those who judge you, thereby lowering your self-respect, you send them a silent blessing of forgiveness and imagine them doing the same toward you. You’re connecting to intention and guaranteeing that you’ll always respect the divinity that you are. You’ve cleared the path to be able to enjoy the great power that is yours in the field of intention.

-Wayne W. Dyer

Things That I Have Learned by Maya Angelou

When the great American poet, the late Maya Angelou, reflected on her life and things she had learned she said, "I've learned that...

1. no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
2. you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
3. regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
4. making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'
5. life sometimes gives you a second chance.
6. you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.
7. whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
8. even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
9. every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
10. I still have a lot to learn.
11. people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

How to Stop Dwelling on the Negative

How do we stop dwelling on these awful moments when we cease to be productive?

1. Admit to yourself that you’re thinking too much.

After all, you can’t solve a problem if you don’t first recognize that you have one. Do you immediately feel affected by criticism? Are you sensitive to unsolicited advice from well-meaning friends or family members? Are you in the habit of ruminating on past failures? Acknowledging your emotions is the first step toward taking control of them.

2. Distract yourself.

If you find yourself ruminating needlessly over a bad breakup, ask friends to go for an afternoon coffee. Immerse yourself in a hobby. Taking up activities such as sports, art, or crafting is a great way to take your mind off something negative.

The reason I got lost in the woods in the first place was that I was trying to clear my head after an argument with my mother. After the short excursion, I felt better equipped to deal with the situation.

3. Think about possible solutions to your problem.

Remember the doctor Robin Williams met in Patch Adams? He told Patch to “look past the problem." Often, we as humans like to blow things out of proportion, just to make things sensational. Try to be as objective as possible — even if you still feel awful about the particular memory.

For example, if you're recovering from the loss of a loved one, consider activities that make you happy and keep you busy, to help yourself avoid wallowing.

4. Be gentle with yourself.

It sounds simple enough, but you’d be surprised how much more critical you are toward yourself than toward others. Confidence is key to success, but often a small setback is enough to destroy whatever self-worth you may have had. Again, try not to give too much credence to one or two perceived "failures." Believe in your ability to succeed again. Keep moving forward.

5. Know that it will take time.

It's not about forgetting the bad things that have happened. It’s all about learning to accept that there are things we can't control and focusing on the things we do control. It won't always hurt. You will make it through. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you'll get there.

by Cris Antonio

'Tis the Season for Silence

‘Tis the season when we really need a moment of silence. It’s also the season when we really have to work to make sure we get one. At a time we traditionally devote to loving, giving, and gratitude, the quiet and peace we need to appreciate our gifts seems all too elusive. Try to give yourself the gift of silence now and then during the holiday hubbub so you have a chance to really enjoy the experience of celebration. It’s when you merge into the silence and become one with it that you reconnect to your Source and know the peacefulness that is God. “Be still and know that I am God,” says the Old Testament. The key words are still and know. Mother Teresa described silence and its relationship to God by saying, “God is the friend of silence. See how nature—trees, grass, grow in silence; see the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.”

Everything that’s created comes out of silence. Your thoughts emerge from the nothingness of silence. Your words come out of this void. Your very essence emerged from emptiness. All creativity requires some stillness. Your sense of inner peace depends on spending some of your life energy in silence to recharge your battery, remove tension and anxiety, reacquaint you with the joy of knowing God, and feel closer to all of humanity. Going into the quiet and listening will heal and inspire you. In silence, you make your personal and conscious contact with God. As Melville reminded us, “God’s one and only voice is silence.”

May the voice of silence bring you peace this holiday season.

- Wayne W. Dyer

Drugs

I normally only post positive messages on this website, but for the power of the message of this poem, which hopefully might inspire some to make a more positive choice, I felt the need to share it.

"I destroy homes, tear families... apart - take your children, and that's just the start.
I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold - the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
And if you need me, remember I'm easily found.
I live all around you, in schools and in town.
I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.
My power is awesome - try me you'll see.
But if you do, you may never break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul.
When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie.
You'll do what you have to just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms, will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.
You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad.
When you see their tears, you should feel sad.
But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised.
I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate from friends.
I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always, right by your side.
You'll give up everything - your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.
I'll take and I'll take, till you have nothing more to give.
When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned this is no game.
If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind.
I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed.
The voices you'll hear from inside your head.
The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see.
I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.
But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part.
You'll regret that you tried me, they always do.
But you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen.
Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.
You could have said no, and just walked away.
If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I'll be your master; you will be my slave.
I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.
Now that you have met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not?
Its all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell.
Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell."

Signed,
DRUGS

The Sinking Cruise Ship - A Story of Judgement

One day a teacher told this story about a cruise ship that capsized at sea. A couple managed to get to a lifeboat, only to realize that there was only room for one. The moment when the two came to the lifeboat the man nudged his wife, so she ended up behind him, and then he jumped into the lifeboat. The woman remained on the sinking ship and shouted to her husband.

The teacher asked his students: "What do you think she shouted?"

Most of the students eagerly replied: "I hate you! I have been cheated! "

The teacher noticed a boy sitting silently and she turned to him to hear what he thought the woman shouted: "Ma'am, I believe she shouted: 'Take care of our children!'

The teacher was surprised and asked: "Have you heard this story before?"

The boy shook his head: "No, but it was what my mother said to my father before she died of their disease."

The teacher sighed lightly: "You answered correctly".

The cruise ship sank. The man came home unharmed and raised the couple's daughter on his own.

Several years later, after the man passed away, the couple's daughter found a diary as she was going through her father's possessions.  It turned out that the mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness days before her parents left on the cruise ship. At the critical moment the father took his only chance for survival.

He wrote in his diary: "As much as I wanted to sink to the bottom of the sea together with you, I had to think about our daughter. I am so sad that I had to leave you alone on the ocean floor, forever. "

When the teacher finished the story, the whole class was dead silent.  The teacher realized that the student, who initially sat silently, understood the point of the story. Between all the good and evil in the world, there are many different underlying causes that may be difficult to see.

That is why we should never focus only on the surface and judge others without trying to understand them first.

Heaven On Earth by Wayne Dyer

Heaven should not be thought of as a place you’ll ultimately arrive at once you leave this earthly existence. Rather, it seems to me, that you’d want to experience Heaven right here on Earth. Earth itself is crammed with Heaven. But do you see Heaven in your daily life? Do you feel as if you’re in a Heavenly world? If the answer is no, then you’re out of balance. You’ve probably made your physical world the primary focus of your life, with little or no attention given to the Heavenly part of your earthly existence.

When you place the larger part of your life energy on the material world, you are generally in a continual state of worry about your “stuff,” and you feel like you never get ahead in the game of life. Virtually all of your mental energy is focused on what you have and don’t have. You assess your worth based on such material issues as what kind of automobile you drive or how fashionably you’re dressed. You may even feel inferior because other people have more stuff! This imbalance between spiritual and material world usually means that indebtedness is a way of life.

When you’re out of balance, with life heavily weighted down on the material side of the scale, you pay a hefty price. The most serious consequence is that you see yourself in a false manner. Your true essence is spiritual, rather than physical, but you’re unable to recognize this. Your infinite self is never born and never dies. When you tip the balance scales in favor of the material world, you’re identifying with an unstable ally that’s forever changing. Your body, your possessions, your achievements and your finances are all ephemeral.

Heaven is a state of mind, not a location, since Spirit is everywhere and in everything. You can begin equalizing your material and spiritual life by making a conscious decision to look for the unfolding of Spirit in everything and everyone you encounter. I personally do this by making an effort to look upon my world as if I were observing it through lenses that filter out the form and all of the material aspects of what I’m seeing, and I can only view the spiritual energy that allows what I’m noticing to exist. Try putting on these imaginary magical lenses and see how different everything appears.

Endurance Quotes

1. A leader, once convinced that a particular course of action is the right one, must be undaunted when the going gets tough. - Ronald Reagan

2. Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory. - William Barclay 

3. Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes. - Buddha 

4. Happy he who learns to bear what he cannot change. - Johann Friedrich Von Schiller 

5. I know quite certainly that I myself have no special talent; curiosity, obsession and dogged endurance, combined with self-criticism have brought me to my ideas. - Albert Einstein 

6. Know how sublime a thing it is to suffer and be strong. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

7. Not in achievement, but in endurance, of the human soul, does it show its divine grandeur and its alliance with the infinite. - Edwin Hubbel Chapin

8. Nothing happens to any man that he is not formed by nature to bear. - Marcus Aurelius 

9. One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another has it for 30 days, but is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success of his life. - Edward B. Butler 

10. One man scorned and covered with scars still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable stars; and the world was better for this. - Miguel de Cervantes, "Don Quixote"

11. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many races one after another. - Walter Elliot

12. Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure. - Edward Eggle

13. Those who can bear all can dare all. - Marquis De Vauvenargues 

14. To win without risk is to triumph without glory. - Pierre Corneille

15. Tough times never last, but tough people do. - Dr. Robert Schuller

16. What cannot be altered must be borne, not blamed. - Thomas Fuller 

17. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call “failure” is not falling down, but staying down. - Mary Pickford

See also: Perseverance Quotes

Thank Sarah for the Thanksgiving Holiday

We wouldn't even have a national Thanksgiving holiday if it weren't for a woman by the name of Sarah Josepha Hale, a magazine editor who campaigned endlessly for the holiday by writing to many U.S. presidents over the course of decades. Hale was so dedicated to the cause that her campaign spanned five presidencies before one president (Abraham Lincoln)  finally said yes.

So this year, when you're stuffing yourself with that last piece of pumpkin pie, just remember: You have a lady named Sarah to thank for it.

See also: 

President Abraham Lincoln - Thanksgiving

President George Washington - Thanksgiving