Desires Determine Progress - Excerpts from the conference talk "Desire" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming.

First I speak of some common desires. As mortal beings we have some basic physical needs. Desires to satisfy these needs compel our choices and determine our actions.  We sometimes override these desires with other desires that we consider more important.

Even the basic desire for sleep can be temporarily overridden by an even more important desire.

In the early months of the Korean War, a Richfield Utah National Guard field artillery battery was called into active service. This battery, commanded by Captain Ray Cox, consisted of about 40 Mormon men. After additional training and reinforcement by reservists from elsewhere, they were sent to Korea, where they experienced some of the fiercest combat of that war. In one battle they had to repel a direct assault by hundreds of enemy infantry, the kind of attack that overran and destroyed other field artillery batteries.

What does this have to do with overcoming the desire for sleep? During one critical night, when enemy infantry had poured through the front lines and into the rear areas occupied by the artillery, the captain had the field telephone lines wired into his tent and ordered his numerous perimeter guards to phone him personally each hour on the hour all night long. This kept the guards awake, but it also meant that Captain Cox had scores of interruptions to his sleep. “How could you do that?” I asked him. His answer shows the power of an overriding desire.

“I knew that if we ever got home, I would be meeting the parents of those boys on the streets in our small town, and I didn’t want to face any of them if their son didn’t make it home because of anything I failed to do as his commander.”

As a conclusion to that illustration, early in the morning following his nearly sleepless night, Captain Cox led his men in a counterattack on the enemy infantry. They took over 800 prisoners and suffered only two wounded. Cox was decorated for bravery, and his battery received a Presidential Unit Citation for its extraordinary heroism.

Readjusting our desires to give highest priority to the things of eternity is not easy. We are all tempted to desire that worldly quartet of property, prominence, pride, and power. We might desire these, but we should not fix them as our highest priorities.

How do we develop desires?

Few will have the kind of crisis that motivated Aron Ralston, but his experience provides a valuable lesson about developing desires. While Ralston was hiking in a remote canyon in southern Utah, an 800-pound rock shifted suddenly and trapped his right arm. For five lonely days he struggled to free himself.

When he was about to give up and accept death, he had a vision of a three-year-old boy running toward him and being scooped up with his left arm. Understanding this as a vision of his future son and an assurance that he could still live, Ralston summoned the courage and took drastic action to save his life before his strength ran out. He broke the two bones in his trapped right arm and then used the knife in his multitool to cut off that arm. He then summoned the strength to hike five miles for help.

What an example of the power of an overwhelming desire! When we have a vision of what we can become, our desire and our power to act increase enormously.

Most of us will never face such an extreme crisis, but all of us face potential traps that will prevent progress toward our eternal destiny. If our righteous desires are sufficiently intense, they will motivate us to cut and carve ourselves free from addictions and other sinful pressures and priorities that prevent our eternal progress.

We should remember that righteous desires cannot be superficial, impulsive, or temporary. They must be heartfelt, unwavering, and permanent.

“Therefore, what we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity.” - Elder Neal A. Maxwell

Let us remember that desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. In addition, it is our actions and our desires that cause us to become something, whether a true friend, a gifted teacher, or one who has qualified for eternal life.

See also:
Full text of Dallin H. Oaks talk "Desire", April 2011

Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: Excerpts

Here's just a few excerpts about living calmly and living virtuously, from Dr. Wayne Dyer's book that interprets the ancient text of the Tao Te Ching, by Lao-tzu:

26th Verse of the Tao:

The heavy is the root of the light.
The still is the master of unrest.

Realizing this,
the successfukl person is
poised and centered
in the midst of all activities;
although surrounded by opulence,
he is not swayed.

Why should the lord of the country
flit about like a fool?
If you let yourself be blown to and fro,
you lose touch with your root.
To be restless is to lose one's self-mastery.

Living Calmly:

You're being advised to maintain a sense of serenity regardless of what you may see taking place around you.  The ability to stay calm is always located within.  From this perspective, there's no need to assign responsibility to others for how you feel.

Circumstances don't determine your state of mind, for that power rests with you.  When you maintain a peaceful inner posture, even in the midst of chaos, you change your life.

Do you want to be in a state of confusion or to have a tranquil inner landscape?  It's up to you!

Assigning blame for your lack of calmness will never bring you to the state of being that you're striving to attain.  Self-mastery only blossoms when you practice being aware of, and responsible for, what you're feeling.

What could be better than the freedom of going through life without feeling that people and circumstances control you without your permission?

If you believe that a changing economic picture or tapestry of events taking place around you is responsible - and you then use these external factors to explain your inner state of mind - you've lost touch with your root. Why? Because you're allowing yourself to be "blown to and fro" by the shifting winds of circumstance.

The solution for a life of unrest is choosing stillness.

Vow to seek a calm inner response to the circumstances of your life.

In the midst of any unrest - be it an argument, a traffic jam, a monetary crisis, or anything at all - make the immediate decision that you will find the calm center of yourself.

Affirm the following often: I have the ability to stay poised and centered, regardless of what goes before me. Then vow to put this new way of being into practice the next time a situation of unrest crops up.

Living Virtuously:

The advice Lao-tsu gives on this topic in the 28th verse are contained in four distinct images:

1. "Be a valley under heaven" is number one.  Let the river of life flow through you.  As a valley beneath heaven, you're a fertile place of grace where everything is received and allowed.   Be ready to embrace and tend the seeds that blow your way.

Get down to the eye level of a small child. Looking up, see if "original qualities" are more visible.

Instead of striving to see yourself as superior to others, perhaps choose the self image of a valley.  From this grounded, fertile, and receptive position, be willing to hear and receive.  Listen intently when you're inclined to offer advice.

2. "Be the pattern of the world" is the second image that invites you to live virtuously.  See nature unspoiled by culture, as in the perfection of the uncarved block of wood.  So rather than insisting on changing or resisting, you're encouraged to row your boat, and your life, gently down the stream.

Dismiss ego, which you've created, and allow yourself to be in the world by changing how you look at the world.

3. "Act in accordance with eternal power" is the third image for living virtuously.  Just contemplate for a moment the idea of a fountain...it is always there, and endless geyser gushing forth the abundant life of virtue.

Picture yourself pouring forth, not from your ideas of self-importance and your need for external power over others, but from a ceaseless Source of good and virtue that's in harmony with your infinite nature.  Change the image of yourself to a being who's in accord with eternal power, and the virtuous life you want to see will be visible.

4. "Preserve your original qualities" is the fourth image of living virtuously.  Your original qualities are those that were you before there was a you!

The original qualities Lao-tzu speaks of are the love, kindness, and beauty that defined your essence before you were formed into a particle and then a human being.  In other words, living virtuously has nothing to do with obeying laws, being a good citizen, or fulfilling some externally inspired idea of who you're meant to become.

______

For more quotes by Lao-tsu, see:
Ancient Chinese Wisdom: Quotes by Lao-tsu

See also I Can See Clearly Now

You Can Buy Happiness, But Not With Money

An investment in gratitude pays valuable dividends, especially when times are tough.
By Jeffrey Rossman, PhD, Rodale.com

Many people today are struggling to make do with less. What's the secret to finding happiness when you're coping with loss? If we observe people who know how to be happy, we find that they make a point of being grateful for whatever they have. And it's not related to how much material wealth you may or may not possess. A growing body of research has demonstrated that grateful people are happier than their less-grateful counterparts, regardless of their income level.

THE DETAILS: Gratitude has also been found to be a powerful antidote to depression. Martin Seligman, PhD, a pioneer in the positive psychology movement, and colleagues at University of Pennsylvania delivered gratitude instructions to 50 severely depressed visitors to a self-help website. They recommended that individuals take time each day to write down three things that went well that day, and why they thought so. Fifteen days later, 94 percent of the 50 individuals reported feeling significantly less depressed. Their scores on a widely used depression inventory dropped by 50 percent -- equivalent to improvement seen with medication treatment or psychotherapy, although the latter interventions generally take longer to work. Individuals in a placebo-controlled group who wrote down three childhood memories each day did not experience an improvement in their depressive symptoms. More important, the effects for the group practicing gratitude lasted for a full 6 months. The researchers repeated the same study several months later with a different group of depressed Web users and obtained substantially the same results. Seligman's group also found that writing in a gratitude journal had a mood-boosting effect for depressed patients in a 12-week therapy group, as well as for patients in individual therapy.

WHAT IT MEANS: Cultivating gratitude is a powerful way to overcome adversity and depression. By choosing to focus on your blessings, rather than ruminating on your disappointments and deficits, you nourish positive feelings about yourself, your life, and others. As an ongoing attitude, gratitude will help you cultivate happiness throughout your life. It is no accident that the individuals in Seligman's study maintained their gains long after they completed the online intervention. Gratitude is habit-forming. The number of things you can be grateful for is infinite. As a happiness resource, gratitude is free and inexhaustible.

There are many ways you can weave gratitude into the fabric of your life:
•Keep a gratitude journal. At the end of each day, write down three things you experienced that you feel grateful for. They could be as varied as the buds appearing on the trees in your yard and appreciation for the kindness extended to you by a stranger. As you chronicle the things you feel grateful for, make a point of not repeating any of the prior entries in your journal.

•Write and deliver a gratitude letter to someone in your life whom you have not properly thanked for what they have given to you. You can deliver the letter in person or read it over the telephone. It's a powerful experience, for you as well as for the person you're thanking.

•Say grace before each meal to express your thanks for the food you are about to eat.

Use whatever language you're comfortable with, whether religious, spiritual, or just an informal expression of gratitude for the meal.

•Make a point of thanking anyone who serves you in any way -- the cashier at the checkout counter, your child for clearing the dinner table, the tech-support person who helped you fix your computer.

•Take gratitude breaks during the course of each day to simply appreciate the myriad blessings, large and small, that are present in your life.

Jeffrey Rossman, PhD, is a Rodale.com advisor and director of life management at Canyon Ranch in Lenox, MA. His column, "Mind-Body-Mood Advisor," appears weekly on Rodale.com.

See also:
Pharrell William's "Happy"
The Science of Happiness

There's Something About Water: Pictures and Quotes

There is something about water...  wonderful, mysterious, soothing, healing and destructive.  I love water- all that it means, all that it does, all that it represents. 

Here are some pictures I have taken, followed by some great water quotes:

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - Thomas Fuller

Pure water is the world's first and foremost medicine. - Slovakian Proverb

A lake is the landscape's most beautiful and expressive feature. It is earth's eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature. - Henry David Thoreau

I believe that water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It's always our self we find in the sea.
- E.E. Cummings

Though inland far we be,
Our souls have sight of that immortal sea
Which brought us hither.
- William Wordsworth

Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills. - Ambrose Bierce

I find myself at the extremity of a long beach. How gladly does the spirit leap forth, and suddenly enlarge its sense of being to the full extent of the broad, blue, sunny deep! A greeting and a homage to the Sea! I descend over its margin, and dip my hand into the wave that meets me, and bathe my brow. That far-resounding roar is the Ocean's voice of welcome. His salt breath brings a blessing along with it. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

My connection to the earth is reinforced through the rhythm of the waves. - Mike Dolan

"Take your shoes off," purred the ocean waves. - Dr. SunWolf

Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think. - Robert Henri

Life is like sea-water; it never gets quite sweet until it is drawn up into heaven. - J.P. Richter

Yes, as everyone knows, meditation and water are wedded forever. - Herman Melville

A person should go out on the water on a fine day to a small distance from a beautiful coast, if he would see Nature really smile. Never does she look so delightful, as when the sun is brightly reflected by the water, while the waves are gently rippling, and the prospect receives life and animation from the glancing transit of an occasional row-boat, and the quieter motion of a few small vessels. But the land must be well in sight; not only for its own sake, but because the immensity and awfulness of a mere sea-view would ill accord with the other parts of the glittering and joyous scene. - Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare

He that will learn to pray, let him go to sea. - George Herbert

Did you ever feel the tongue dry, the lips parched, and the throat feverish, and then, bringing a goblet filled with pure water to your lips, do you remember the sensation as it trickled over your tongue and gurgled down your throat? Was it not a luxury?... Here is a beverage brewed for us by our Heavenly Father—brewed, too, in beautiful places.... He brews pure water, far away on the mountain top, whose granite peak glitters like gold in the sunlight; away again, on the wide wild sea, where the hurricane howls its mournful melody, and the storm sends back the chorus, sweeping the march of God! - John Bartholomew Gough

There brews the beautiful water! And beautiful it always is! You see it glistening in the dewdrop; you hear it singing in the summer rain; you see it sparkling in the ice gem when the trees seem loaded with rich jewels!... dancing in the hailstorm, leaping, foaming, dashing...! See how it weaves a golden gauze for the setting sun, and a silvery tissue for the midnight moon! - John Bartholomew Gough

If I offer you a glass of water, and bring back a cup of ice, I’m trying to teach you patience. And also that sometimes you get ice with no water, and later you’ll get water with no ice. Ah, but that’s life, no? - Jarod Kintz

I'm always happy when I'm surrounded by water, I think I'm a Mermaid or I was a mermaid. The ocean makes me feel really small and it makes me put my whole life into perspective… it humbles you and makes you feel almost like you’ve been baptized. I feel born again when I get out of the ocean. - Beyoncé Knowles

You never really know what's coming. A small wave, or maybe a big one. All you can really do is hope that when it comes, you can surf over it, instead of drown in its monstrosity. - Alysha Speer

In one drop of water are found all the secrets of all the oceans; in one aspect of You are found all the aspects of existence. - Kahlil Gibran

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - W.C. Fields

Life in us is like the water in a river. - Henry David Thoreau

They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, the voice of perpetual Becoming. - Hermann Hesse

A pool just isn't the same as the ocean. It has no energy. No life. - Linda Gerber

People left a lot of things behind when they went in the water. Their clothes, their stuff, their makeup, their fixed-up hair, their voices, their hearing, their sight—at least as they normally experienced them. - Ann Brashares

You are water
I’m water
we’re all water in different containers
that’s why it’s so easy to meet
someday we’ll evaporate together. - Yoko Ono

There is no water in oxygen, no water in hydrogen: it comes bubbling fresh from the imagination of the living God, rushing from under the great white throne of the glacier. The very thought of it makes one gasp with an elemental joy no metaphysician can analyse. The water itself, that dances, and sings, and slakes the wonderful thirst--symbol and picture of that draught for which the woman of Samaria made her prayer to Jesus--this lovely thing itself, whose very wetness is a delight to every inch of the human body in its embrace--this live thing which, if I might, I would have running through my room, yea, babbling along my table--this water is its own self its own truth, and is therein a truth of God. - George MacDonald

The water you kids were playing in, he said, had probably been to Africa and the North Pole. Genghis Khan or Saint Peter or even Jesus may have drunk it. Cleopatra might have bathed in it. Crazy Horse might have watered his pony with it. Sometimes water was liquid. Sometimes it was rock hard- ice. Sometimes it was soft- snow. Sometimes it was visible but weightless- clouds. And sometimes it was completely invisible- vapor- floating up into the the sky like the soals of dead people. There was nothing like water in the world, Jim said. It made the desert bloom but also turned rich bottomland into swamp. Without it we'd die, but it could also kill us, and that was why we loved it, even craved it, but also feared it. Never take water for granted, Jim said. Always cherish it. Always beware of it. - Jeannette Walls

I've come to the conclusion that the artist cannot justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day. - Woody Allen

It is difficult to find anything more healthy to drink than good cold water, such as flows down to us from springs and snows of our mountains. This is the beverage we should drink. It should be our drink at all times. - Brigham Young

As our bodies are mostly made of water, I’d rather be hungry than thirsty. And as love is mostly made up of sugar water, I’d rather be a hummingbird caged in your heart. - Jarod Kintz

The places where water comes together with other water. Those places stand out in my mind like holy places. - Raymond Carver

Nothing in the world is more flexible and yielding than water. Yet when it attacks the firm and the strong, none can withstand it, because they have no way to change it. So the flexible overcome the adamant, the yielding overcome the forceful. Everyone knows this, but no one can do it. - Lao Tsu

Water is life's mater and matrix, mother and medium. There is no life without water. - Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Don't you realize that the sea is the home of water? All water is off on a journey unless it's in the sea, and it's homesick, and bound to make its way home someday. - Zora Neale Hursto

We all need the waters of the Mercy River. Though they don't run deep, there's usually enough, just enough, for the extravagance of our lives. - Unknown

Today I want to be like that one floating branch I see in the water. I want to be free from time and spend awhile in that blue sea....Just floating...Not going anywhere...Being silent and supported by the deep waters... Only listening to the sounds of the lapping waves. - Unknown

Don't be ashamed to weep; 'tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us. - Brian Jacques

Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness. - Steve Maraboli

Anger is like flowing water; there's nothing wrong with it as long as you let it flow. Hate is like stagnant water; anger that you denied yourself the freedom to feel, the freedom to flow; water that you gathered in one place and left to forget. Stagnant water becomes dirty, stinky, disease-ridden, poisonous, deadly; that is your hate. On flowing water travels little paper boats; paper boats of forgiveness. Allow yourself to feel anger, allow your waters to flow, along with all the paper boats of forgiveness. Be human. - C. JoyBell C.

It is life, I think, to watch the water. A man can learn so many things. - Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.  I am haunted by waters. - Norman Maclean

Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does. - Margaret Atwood

The ocean was the best place, of course. That was what she loved most. It was a feeling of freedom like no other, and yet a feeling of communion with all the other places and creatures the water touched. - Ann Brashares

Until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Human nature is like water. It takes the shape of its container. - Wallace Stevens

Water is the driving force in nature. - Leonardo da Vinci

Always be like a water. Float in the times of pain or dance like waves along the wind which touches its surface. - Santosh Kalwar

Ah, well, then you've never stood on a beach as the waves came crashing in, the water stretching out from you until it's beyond sight, moving and blue and alive and so much bigger than even the black beyond seems because the ocean hides what it contains. - Patrick Ness

High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water; but everybody likes water. - Mark Twain

Invictus by William Ernest Henley: "I am the captain of my soul."

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Background on the writing of this great poem:

William Ernest Henley is known to most people by virtue of this single poem.

As mentioned previously, Henley was hospitalized for tuberculosis. One of his legs was amputated in order to save his life; it was said to be very painful. Immediately after the amputation, he received news that another operation would have to be done on his other leg. However, he decided to enlist the help of a different doctor named Joseph Lister. Under Lister's care he was able to keep his other leg by undergoing intensive surgery on his remaining foot. 

While recovering from this surgery in the infirmary, he was moved to write the words of Invictus. This period of his life, coupled with the reality of an impoverished childhood, plays a major role in the meaning behind the poem; it is also the prime reason for this poem's existence.

Excerpts from "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson, Part 2

More excerpts from the book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and it's all small stuff" by Richard Carlson, PH.D.  

For the first part of excerpts, see Excerpts from "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff", Part 1

The truth is, life is almost never as bad as it seems when you're in a low mood.  Rather than staying stuck in a bad temper, convinced you are seeing life realistically, you can learn to question your judgment.  Learn to pass it off as simply that: an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time, if you leave it alone.  A low mood is not the time to analyze your life...remind yourself, "This too shall pass."  It will.

      "Life is a test.  It is only a test.  Had this been a real life you would have been instructed where to go and what to do". - Unknown

When you look at life and its many challenges as a test, or series of tests, you begin to see each issue you face as an opportunity to grow, a chance to roll with the punches.  Whether you're being bombarded with problems, responsibilities, even insurmountable hurdles, when looked at as a test, you always have a chance to succeed, in the sense of rising above that which is challenging you.

If on the other hand, you see each new issue you face as a serious battle that must be won in order to survive, you're probably in for a very rocky journey.  The only time your're likely to be happy is when everything is working out just right.  And we all know how often that happens.

Ask yourself, "Why is this issue in my life? What would it mean and what would be involved to rise above it?  Could I possibly look at this issue any differently? Can I see it as a test of some kind?"

When you expect to be dished out your share of disapproval instead of struggling against this fact, you'll develop a helpful perspective to assist your life journey. Rather than feeling rejected by disapproval, you can remind yourself, "Here it is again.  That's okay."  You can learn to be pleasantly surprised, even grateful when you receive the approval you're hoping for.

      "Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty." - Bumper sticker

Practicing random kindness is an effective way to get in touch with the joy of giving without expecting anything in return...giving is fun and it doesn't have to be expensive...it brings great contentment into your life.

Learn to be less bothered by people.  Underneath even the most annoying behavior is a frustrated person who is crying out for compassion.  When someone acts in a strange way, look for the innocence in his behavior.  When you're not frustrated by the actions of others, it's a lot easier to stay focused on the beauty of life.

It's impossible to feel better at the expense of someone else.

Humility and inner peace go hand in hand.  The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peaceful inside.

Being interested in the way other people act is a way of replacing judgments with loving-kindness.  When you are genuinely curious about theway someone reacts or the way they feel about something, it's unlikely that you will also be annoyed.

One of the cardinal rules of joyful living is that judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.

Consider deeply an respect the fact that we are all very different.  When you do, the love you feel for others as well as the appreciation you have for your own uniqueness will increase.

Our minds are powerful instruments.  When we decide that something is true or beyond our reach, it's very difficult to pierce tthrough this self-created hurdle.

I have learned that when I argue for my own limitations, very seldom do I disappoint myself.

It's easy to see God's beauty in a beautiful sunrise, a snow-capped mountain, the smile of a healthy child, or in ocean waves crashing on a sandy beach.  But can we learn to find the holiness in seemingly ugly circumstances - difficult life lessons, a family tragedy, or a struggle for life?

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, try to remember that everything has God's fingerprints on it.  The fact that we can't see the beauty in something doesn't suggest that it's not there.  Rather, it suggests that we are not looking carefully enough or with a broad enough perspective to see it.

When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.

There are many times when simply agreeing with criticism defuse the situation, satisfies a person's need to express a point of view, offers you a chance to learn something about yourself by seeing a grain of truth in another position, and perhaps most important, provides you an opportunity to remain calm.

Reacting to criticism never makes the criticism go away.  In fact, negative reactions to criticism often convince the person doing the criticizing that they are accurate in their assessment of you.

Stop constantly wishing your were somewhere else.  As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present.

Being listened to is one of the rarest and most treasured gifts you can offer.

Often the difference between a person who is happy and someone who is unhappy isn't how often they get low, or even how low they drop, but instead, it's what they do with their low moods.

If you don't fght your negative feelings, if you are graceful, they will pass away just as surely as the sun sets in the evening.

Try to see your driving not only as a way of getting you somewhere, but as a chance to breathe and to reflect.  You can spend those moments being frustrated, or you can use them wisely.

It's useful to think of relaxation as a quality of heart that you can access on a regular basis rather than reserved for some later time.

You have a choice in how you respond to life.


See more at:

Part 3 - Excerpts from "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff".html

The Magic Rings

There was a father who had three sons and a magic ring.This magic ring had the power to bestow the gifts of kindness,generosity, and grace to the one who possessed it, and the father had used it well his entire life.Eventually, however, the time came when the father knew he was dying. Unwilling to give the magic ring to only one of his sons, he sent the ring to a jeweler and asked that two other identical rings be made. Afterwards, he called his sons together and told them, “I have loved you my entire life, and now I must pass along to you my most cherished possession. I give each of you a magic ring. These rings will bestow kindness, generosity, and grace. Use the rings well, that you may have a long life and prosper with God’s help.”

Now, after the father died, the sons believed that only one of them actually had the magic ring. They began to argue and complain. Each believed that another brother had the magic ring. Eventually they took the rings to a judge and demanded, “Tell us which of these is the magic ring!” The judge answered, “It is impossible to tell by looking at the rings. I would suggest we wait, and watch to see who lives the most virtuous life—like your father. The one who lives well will be the one who, obviously, possesses the magic ring.”

Each of the brothers agreed to this idea. And each of the brothers lived as if he possessed the magic ring. From that day forward, each of the brothers was filled with goodness, thoughtfulness, and honesty.

The virtues of goodness and love are not derived from props or magic. Love comes from the heart, and is demonstrated by the way we live. There are no shortcuts. It is possible, however, to pass along signs and symbols that may remind others of these virtues, and assist others in the striving toward a better life. Nearly all faiths have relics and rituals that are aimed at pointing others toward a more virtuous existence.

The real magic, of course, occurs when we live a virtuous life simply because we want to, with no aim but to please others,and no thought of gain. The greatest proof of a life well lived is not the possessions we hold in the hand, but the attributes we hold in the heart.

- borrowed from Ankur Bhandari

Excerpts from "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson

... and it's all small stuff.

Simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life.

A great little book with tons of great advice for de-stressing your life, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff..." was written by Richard Carlson, PH.D.  Here are some excerpts:

       "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his  attitude." - William James

When we are immobilized by little things - when we are irritated, annoyed, and easily bothered - our (over-) reactions not only make us frustrated but actually get in the way of getting what we want...Because everything seem like such a big deal, we end up spending our lives dealing with one drama after another.

We fail to recognize that the way we relate to our problems has a lot to do with how quickly and efficiently we solve them.

Happily, there is another way to relate to life - a softer, more graceful path that makes life seem easier and the people in it more compatible...replacing old habits of "reaction" with new habits of prespective.

When you "don't sweat the small stuff," your life won't be perfect, but you will learn to accept what life has to offer with far less resistance.

We often allow ourselves to...focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion...[and] completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life.

I've yet to meet an absolute perfectionist whose life was filled with inner peace.  The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other...When we are zeroed in on what's wrong, it implies that we are dissatisfied, discontent.

This strategy has nothing to do with ceasing to do your very best but with being overly attached and focused on what's wrong with life.  It's about realizing that while there's always a better way to do something, this doesn't mean that you can't enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.

Begin to discover the perfection in life itself.

When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs ,desires, and concerns.  It's thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others.

Filling your head with thoughts of how overwhelmed you are only exacerbates the problem by making you feel even more stressed than you already do.

         "We cannot do great things on this earth.  We can only do small things with great love." - Mother Teresa

Many of the things you think of as "big stuff" are really just "small stuff" that you are turning into big stuff.

Nothing is more important than your own sense of happiness and inner peace and that of your loved ones.  If you're obsessed with getting everything done, you'll never have a sense of well-being!

The purpose of life isn't to get it all done but to enjoy each step along the way and live a life filled with love.

While acts of kindness are inherently wonderful, there is something even more magical about doing something thoughtful but mentioning it to no one, ever.

To a large degree, the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment.

        "Life is what's happening while we're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

        "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." - Mark Twain

Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you.  You'll find that if you do this, you'll be far less annoyed, bothered,  and frustrated by the actions and imperfections of other people.

Ask yourself..."Do I want to be 'right' - or do I want to be happy?"

Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart.  And those who learn to listen are the most loved and respected.

The more patient you are, the more accepting you will be of what is, rather than insisting that life be exactly as you would like it to be.  Without patience, life is extremely frustrating.  You are easily annoyed, bothered, and irritated.  Patience adds a dimension of ease and acceptance to your life.  It's essential for inner peace.

If you look deeply enough, you can almost always see the innocence in other people as well as in potentially frustrating situations.

My present challenge isn't "life or death" but simply a minor obstacle that must be dealt with.

Whenever we hold on to our anger, we turn "small stuff" into really "big stuff" in our minds.  We start to believe that our positions are more important than our happiness.  They are not.  If you want to be a more peaceful person you must understand that being right is almostnever more important than allowing yourself to be happy.

One of the nice things about surrendering to the fact that life isn't fair is that it keeps us from feeling sorry for ourselves by encouraging us to do the very best we can with what we have.

Our current level of stress will be exactly that of our tolerance to stress.

When you're feeling out of control and resentful of all that you have to do, rather than roll up your sleeves and "get to it," a better strategy is to relax, take a few deep breaths, and go for a short walk...When your mind is clear and peaceful and your stress level is reduced, you'll be more effective and you'll have more fun.

The first step in becoming a more peaceful person is to have the humility to admit that, in most cases, you're creating your own emergencies.

Gratitude and inner peace go hand in hand.  The more genuinely I feel for the gift of my life, the more peaceful I feel.

If you wake up in the morning with gratitude on your mind, it's pretty difficult, in fact almost impossible, to feel anything but peace.

There is virtually always a parallel between our attitude toward strangers and our overall level of happiness.

When you see how similar we all are, you begin to see the innocence in all of us.

I can't think of a single person whom I would consider to be inwardly peaceful who doesn't carve out at least a little quiet time, virtually every day.

Become more interested in understanding others and less in having other people understand you...When you understand where people are coming from, what they are trying to say, what's important to them, and so forth, being understood flows naturally; it falls into place with virtually no effort.

Slowing down your responses and becoming a better listener aids in in becoming a more peaceful person...Not only will becoming a better listener make you a more patient person, it will also enhance the quality of your relationships.  Everyone loves to talk to someone who truly listens to what they are saying.

There are always going to be people who disagree with you, people who do things differently, and things that don't work out.  If you fight against this principle of life, you'll spend most of your life fighting battles.

If your primary goal isn't to have everything work out perfectly but instead to live a relatively stress-free life, you'll find that most battles pull you away from your most tranquil feelings.


For more excerpts, see:

Excerpts from "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff", Part 2

Excerpts from "Dont Sweat the Small Stuff", Part 3

Great Quotes by Dr. Seuss

Theodor Seuss Geisel was an American writer, poet, and cartoonist most widely known for his children's books written under the pen names Dr. Seuss andTheo LeSieg.

Geisel published 46 children's books, which were often characterized by imaginative characters, rhyme, and frequent use of anapestic meter. His most celebrated books include the bestselling Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, Horton Hatches the Egg, Horton Hears a Who!, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas!. Numerous adaptations of his work have been created, including 11 television specials, four feature films, a Broadway musical and four television series.

Here are some great quotes from his books and other sayings:  

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”  ― Oh, the Places You'll Go!

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
― Happy Birthday to You!

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”  ― I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

“A person's a person, no matter how small.”
―Horton Hears a Who!

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It's not.”
― The Lorax

“Being crazy isn't enough.”

“Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.”

“In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!”

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”
“From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!”
― One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

“If things start happening, don't worry, don't stew, just go right along and you'll start happening too.”

“I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent!”
― Horton Hatches the Egg

“Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”

“How did it get so late so soon?”

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!”
― How the Grinch Stole Christmas

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.” ― Oh, The Places You'll Go!

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good.”

“All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!”
― Oh, the Places You'll Go! and The Lorax

“Only you can control your future.”

“You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.”
― I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

“They say I'm old-fashioned, and live in the past, but sometimes I think progress progresses too fast!”

“I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.”

“When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles
and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles...
...they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle
bottle paddle battle.”
― Fox in Socks

“I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone.”

“You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.”

“Be awesome! Be a book nut!”

“Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than to remember me and cry.”

“ASAP. Whatever that means. It must mean, 'Act swiftly awesome pacyderm!”
―  Horton Hears a Who!

“Think and wonder, wonder and think.”

“You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.”

“So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.”

“Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun
But you have to know how.”
― The Cat in the Hat (Deluxe Edition)

“There's no limit to how much you'll know, depending how far beyond zebra you go.”

“I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, but down here at the bottom we, too, should have rights.”  ― Yertle the Turtle and Gertrude McFuzz

“Oh the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.”
― Oh, the Places You'll Go!

“He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.”

“The storm starts, when the drops start dropping
When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping.”

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.”

“If you'd never been born, then you might be an Isn't!  An Isn't has no fun at all. No, he disn't.”

“Things may happen and often do to people as brainy and footsy as you”
― Oh, the Places You'll Go!

“Oh, the things you can find if you don't stay behind!”

“It has often been said
there’s so much to be read,
you never can cram
all those words in your head.

So the writer who breeds
more words than he needs
is making a chore
for the reader who reads.

That's why my belief is
the briefer the brief is,
the greater the sigh
of the reader's relief is.

And that's why your books
have such power and strength.
You publish with shorth!
(Shorth is better than length.)”

“Just tell yourself, Duckie, you're real quite lucky.”

“Words and pictures are yin and yang. Married, they produce a progeny more interesting than either parent.”

“When he worked, he really worked. But when he played, he really PLAYED.”

“It's not about what it is, it's about what it can become.”
― The Lorax

“I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny.”
― The Cat in the Hat

“You are you. Now, isn't that pleasant?”

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.”

“Today I shall behave, as if this is the day I will be remembered.”

“I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love.”

“Today is your day, your mountain is waiting. So get on your way.”

“When you think things are bad,
when you feel sour and blue,
when you start to get mad...
you should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, Duckie,
you're really quite lucky!
Some people are much more...
oh, ever so much more...
oh, muchly much-much more
unlucky than you!”
― Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?

“I do not like green eggs and ham I do not like them Sam-I-Am.  Try them, try them, and you may! Try them and you may, I say.”
― Green Eggs and Ham

“Oh, the thinks you can think!”

“You're never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child.”

“I meant what I said and I said what I meant.”
― Horton Hatches the Egg

“To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.”

“With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.”

“It is fun to have fun but you have to know how.”

Cowboy Ethics by James Owen

Live each day with courage.

Take pride in your work.

Always finish what you start.

Do what has to be done.

Be tough, but fair.

When you make a promise, keep it.

Ride for the brand.

Talk less and say more.

Remember that some things aren't for sale.

Know where to draw the line.

Albert Einstein Quotes

Albert Einstein (1879 -1955) was a theoretical physicist and humanist who is widely regarded as one of the most influential scientists of all time. He is most famous for his Special and General Theories of Relativity, but contributed in other areas of physics. He won the Nobel Prize in physics for his explanation of the photoelectric effect.

Here are some great quotes from this genius of a man:

You never fail until you stop trying.

Creativity is intelligence having fun.

The best way to cheer yourself is to cheer somebody else up.

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right.

I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves - such an ethical basis I call more proper for a herd of swine.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.

A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution. It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.

Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.

Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.
Nature only shows us the tail of the lion. I am convinced, however, that the lion is attached to it, even though he cannot reveal himself directly because of his enormous size.

When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind.

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

It is harder to crack a prejudice than an atom.

God is subtle, but he is not malicious.

I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it.

Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.

Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.”

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.

The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.

I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning.

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.

The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.

When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again.

It is not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.

The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut

Any fool can know. The point is to understand.

Love is a better master than duty.

We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams.”

The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be.

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.

Out of clutter, find simplicity.

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.

I'd rather be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right.

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.

God did not create evil. Just as darkness is the absence of light, evil is the absence of God.

Nothing happens until something moves.

Genius is 1% talent and 99% percent hard work.

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.

We all know that light travels faster than sound. That's why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak.

A ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for.

I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking.

Our task must be to free ourselves... by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and it's beauty.

Imagination is the highest form of research.

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”

When the solution is simple, God is answering.

If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.

Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.