Hakuna Matata (No worries) !

"Lauren," Hank scolded, "you really have got to stop worrying so much. You’ve made it a full-time job! You worried about James failing high school. You worried that the girls would marry deadbeat husbands who wouldn’t provide for them. You worried about our flights getting cancelled before our vacation. Last month, when you had that cold, you even worried about getting the whooping cough, of all things. You worried about all these things, and none of them happened!"

"See!" Lauren exclaimed. "It worked!"

How many of us are like Lauren? Sure, she was making a joke, she knew worrying didn’t do any good, but in some situations it seemed to be all she could do. She had long ago fallen into the habit of worrying, and she didn’t know how to fall out of it.

Research studies have revealed that we typically worry five times as much about things that will never happen as about things that actually do occur. That’s a lot of wasted worry! If you’re this distracted, you cannot effectively live up to your potential. Worry will drain your energy and stifle your commitment. Every minute you spend worrying is a minute that you’re not committing. Worry is the opposite of faith, so stop worrying, and deepen your faith.

One good way to combat worry is to commit to memory Reinhold Niebuhr’s "Serenity Prayer": "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Once you’ve accepted the things you cannot change, how do you change the things you can? Simply take a rational approach. Let’s say you have a new job and are worried about making a mistake. The worrying mind quickly jumps to a worst-case — and highly unlikely — scenario: If you make a mistake, you’ll get fired. Rationally, you know this is improbable, but how do you prove it to yourself? It’s simple. First, you break down the chain of events that would lead to your firing. Then you assign a probability to each event; a rough estimate will do.

So what are the real odds of your being fired? Even though each individual probability is just a rough estimate, the total probability, which is the product of all these individual probabilities, is a good ballpark estimate:

Probability of being fired because of a mistake = 0.25 x 0.1 x 0.7 x 0.1 x 0.05 = .0000875, or .00875% (less than one chance in ten thousand).

Now, doesn’t that put things in perspective? This kind of rational approach can help you get a handle on your worries. If the chances of your being fired because of a mistake are less than one in ten thousand, there’s really no reason to worry about it.

I remember the words of the wise baboon, Rafiki (is that an oxymoron?) for the Lion King fans, "Hakuna Matata!", meaning "There are no worries!" Well, that works great if you are living in the jungle ... in a movie.

However, for today’s real world, I say, "No worries, take action!" Life’s rewards go to those whose actions rise above their excuses ... and their worries.

So take positive action today and wash away your worries!

- from Lee J. Colan

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More great "Worry" quotes:

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish proverb

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it come due. - Dean William Ralph Inge

Don't Worry. Be Happy. - Bobby McFerin

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. - Horace

Worry is like a rocking chair, it keeps us busy but gets us nowhere. - Unknown

It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. - Gordon B. Hinckley

See also:
Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry Be Happy"

Follow Your Dreams

In following your dreams you must have a plan. But sometimes plans change and the way we deal with the change and vision is what really makes us who we are! Here's some suggestions of how to continue following your dreams as plans change:

1. Drop a Habit That Has Kept You From Reaching Your Potential

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. – Joseph Campbell

Sometimes the lessons learned along the way teach you that your plan may not be the best for you. The plan is just that, a plan. And usually, when we make a plan, we veer off because circumstances have changed by the time we need to follow through.

2. Act on Your Dreams

Great dreams contain inexhaustible truths, and orient us, like runes, toward our future. One hesitates to try to explain them; one wants to dance them, act them out in living gestures. The more we put ourselves into a great dream, the more we get back. Great dreams are wells that never run dry. – Michael Grosso in Soulmaker

Your personal well will never run dry, if when you veer off, you follow your dream each day that is not necessarily in your plan. Don’t let yourself be limited by the plan. DREAM! If tomorrow you want to be a writer then be a writer! Just because your goal was something else does not mean you cannot still keep that goal while adding a new goal. Clearly, now the goal needs to be tailored with both visions of the plan and the dream.

3. Have the Courage to Live What You Believe

In whatever arena of life one may meet the challenge of courage, whatever may be the sacrifices he faces if he follows his conscience- the loss of his friends, his fortune, his contentment, even the esteem of his fellow men- each man must decide for himself the course he will follow. - John F. Kennedy

Not only should you not limit yourself by your personal plan but you should not limit yourself in your beliefs because of others. Don’t let your decisions or opinions be overtaken by others, although suggestions should be seen as possible opportunities. The opportunities will each have obstacles that present themselves throughout the way and recognizing and dealing appropriately is the goal for the dream!

4. Have the Courage to Overcome

The world is full of suffering. It is also full of the overcoming of it. We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world…. Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through the experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. – Helen Keller

When your personal plan does not go the way you planned, take it as a learning experience. Just because you are feeling consumed by the impossible and the changes take a second to let it strengthen your dream. Come out a winner!

5. Have the Courage to Endure

Coming out a winner does not necessarily mean winning. Winning is when you endure through the problems, through the bumps, and come out standing tall. The lessons learned throughout are the most important!

Winning means living your goals!

Nothing worthwhile ever happens quickly and easily. You achieve only as you are determined to achieve… and as you keep at it until you have achieved. - Robert H. Lauer

Each vision or goal that you hold is tailored by the way you overcome, how you live in your actions, and what you believe deep inside!

It is only by thinking about great and good things that we come to love them, and it is only by loving them that we come to long for them, and it is only by longing for them that we are impelled to seek after them; and it is only by seeking after them that they become ours. - Henry Van Dyke


- adapted from Shawn Bremner at Happypublishing.com

Never Give Up

Never give up
Never lose hope.

Always have faith,
It allows you to cope.

Trying times will pass,
As they always do.

Just have patience,
Your dreams will come true.

So put on a smile,
You’ll live through your pain,

Know it will pass,
And strength you will gain.

by Charlie Remiggio

How to be Perfectly Miserable

1. Think about yourself.
2. Talk about yourself.
3. Use “I” as often as possible.
4. Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others.
5. Listen greedily to what people say about you.
6. Expect to be appreciated.
7. Be suspicious.
8. Be jealous and envious.
9. Be sensitive to slights.
10. Never forgive a criticism.
11. Trust no one but yourself.
12. Insist on consideration and respect.
13. Demand agreement with your own views on everything.
14. Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them.
15. Never forget a service you may have rendered.
16. Be on the lookout for a good time for yourself.
17. Shirk your duties if you can.
18. Do as little as possible for others.
19. Love yourself supremely.
20. Be selfish.

This recipe is guaranteed to be infallible.

- Gospel Herald

Builder or wrecker?

I watched them tear a building down;
A gang of men in a busy town.
With a mighty heave and lusty yell,
They swung a beam and a side wall fell.

I said to the foremen, “Are these men as skilled
As the men you’d hire if you had to build?”
He gave a laugh and said, “No indeed!
Just a common laborer is all I need.
And I can wreck in a day of two
What it took the builder a year to do.”

And I thought to myself as I went my way,
“Just which of these roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder who works with skill and care
Building others up by the rule and square,
Or am I a wrecker as I walk the town
Content with the labor of tearing down?”

-unknown

It Is All About You

It has been said that the only person who can promote yourself is YOU. There is no one who can make you better other than you. No one will put you into limelight unless you make a concerted effort to do so.

No one will tell your story unless you step forward and narrate it. It is you to make that story and tell it the way you want it told. Think about Oprah Winfrey. She made it happen in her life even in the face vast challenges in her youth. She overcame various kinds of abuse and chose to make a difference not only in her life but also in the lives of men and women worldwide.

Mohammed Ali had to muster the best self-belief, tremendous confidence, and unquenchable desire to win the international boxing bout against Liston. He told the world that he was the greatest. He walked it, he believed it, and acted it.

The only person who can define and determine your destiny is you. You have the responsibility to managing your thoughts. Your positive thinking will spur positive actions and productive habits. Your good habits will shape a fulfilling character in your life. Your life will be fruitful as well.

You must refuse to listen to the voices that preach defeat, impossibility, small dreams, negative attitude, discouragement, and disillusionment. Beware of people who will steal and belittle your dreams. It is your success, dreams, and victory; it not theirs. It cannot be them. The best person to set the goals of your career and life is you. It will never be the duty of your life coach, friends, and parents. It is all about you.

- from Shawn Bremner at Happypublishing.com

You Raise(d) Me Up

In honor of my Mother for Mother's Day, here are the words to a great Josh Groban song that I dedicated to my mom, Janice Marilyn Powell Young, a handfull of years ago on Mother's Day, and again at her funeral last year. Thanks, Mom, for all you did to raise me up.



When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

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I have also added "Mothers" quotes in the alphabetical listing of blogs below.

The Wolves Within

One evening a Cherokee elder sat with his grandson to tell him about the battle that goes on within people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is evil. This wolf speaks with anger, envy, jealousy, hatred, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. This wolf speaks with joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, and caring, empathy, respect for self and others, generosity, truth and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson listened to his grandfather's words and asked, "Which wolf wins?"

The wise Cherokee elder looked into his grandson's eyes and replied, "The one you feed".

- Old Cherokee Legend

See also:
The Good Wolf motivational video

7 Ways to Deal With the Negative People in Your Life

Here's a great article by Lori Radun, CEC

Have you ever been faced with trying to stay positive when others around you are negative? Negative people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy. A negative person can throw your best laid plans to be positive right out the window. Whether your child or spouse has an occasional negative day or you deal with a family member, friend or co-worker that is chronically negative, there are things you can do to remain positive in the face of negativity.

Let the Negativity Pass
Whatever you do, do not argue with a negative person. Arguing only adds fuel to the fire. A negative person will feed off any negativity that will strengthen his mood or attitude. I have noticed when my children are in a crabby mood, it is best to avoid trying to convince them to analyze and adjust their attitude. As soon as I take the approach of being in opposition with them, they seize the opportunity to prove to me that life stinks. Their negativity intensifies and the situation gets worse before it gets better. Sometimes the best thing to do is remain silent and let the negativity pass.

Negative People Need Love
You know how difficult it can be to give love and positive attention to negative people. Unfortunately, that is often exactly what they need. Deep inside that mean and critical person is a person that is usually afraid he or she is unlovable. It is our challenge to rise above the negative attitude and love the injured person inside. How do you show love when someone is negative? You must listen to what she is trying to tell you. Acknowledge the feelings she has by saying something like, "You sound very angry right now". Even if you don't quite understand the persons feelings, know that your reality is different than someone else's. Ask how you might help the negative person. This shows legitimate interest in her happiness. Offer a hug even if you get rejected. Remember not to take a rejection of your love personally. A negative person often has difficulty receiving love from others.

Focus on the Positive
If you try really hard, there is always something positive to be found in any situation. Pretend you are on a treasure hunt and search for any gold or jewels you can emphasize. Even a negative person has positive qualities. When a person is drowning in negativity, it can be difficult for them to see the positive. So often my clients focus on the negative aspects of themselves. They forget about all the great things they are doing. I admit that sometimes a negative person doesn't want to see the positive. This might require her to shift her outlook. Negativity can become a habit and habits are hard to break. Be patient and gently remind your grumpy friend or family member to look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Hopefully, in her down time, she will begin to reflect on what you have said.

Ask Negative People to Elaborate
You may hear a negative person say things like: "Women are fickle." "You cant trust doctors." "My husband makes me miserable." These kinds of statements are a type of cognitive distortion referred to as generalizations. To help a person sort through her distorted thinking, ask for more specifics. Questions like "Which women are fickle?" or "What specifically about your husband is making you miserable?" forces a person to evaluate what he or she is really trying to say. A negative person will either give up because it takes too much effort to explain himself, or he or she will get to the bottom of the issue.

Detach and Avoid Trying to Change the Negative Person
Learning to detach emotionally from a negative person can greatly benefit you and the other person. A negative person will fight you if you try to change them. If you want, you can try a little reverse psychology and agree with everything she says. I once read a great article about a mother who was exasperated with her sons negative mood. Everything she tried to soothe him and make him feel better backfired. She finally gave up and started agreeing with everything he said. When her son told her his friends were mean, she agreed with him. When he complained that his teacher didn't know anything, she couldn't agree more. After several minutes of this kind of dialogue with her son, his mood suddenly shifted. He declared that he was tired and he went to bed with a smile on his face.

Stay Away from Negative People
If you have negative people in your life that are critically affecting your mental and physical health, you need to evaluate whether or not you want these people in your life. Some people are so chronically negative that you have no other choice but to remove them from your life. Its possible to do that with friends. You can find another job if your boss or other co-workers are bringing you down. Other people, such as children and spouses, are difficult to remove from your life. In this instance, professional counseling may be the answer. To protect your well being, you need to enforce very strong boundaries with negative people.

Keep Your Own Negative Thoughts and Behaviors in Check
If you do nothing else but focus on managing your own negative thoughts and behavior, you will come a long way towards remaining positive. A negative attitude is contagious, but a positive attitude is infectious as well. Hang out with positive people that encourage you to be your best self. Use positive affirmations to overcome negative self-talk. Express your gratitude for all the positive things in your life. Take the time everyday to watch all the beautiful things going on around you. Read inspirational material and listen to joyful music. Take care of yourself spiritually. Do whatever you have to do to remain positive and happy despite the negativity you face. The world will be a better place because of you and your attitude. And you never know, you just might help a negative person make a change to a better way of living.